Gents! 5 Reasons You Should Masturbate

Let's get this straight. Sometimes women don't want to have sex. Ladies, I'm sure you've felt this at several points during your relationship. Whether you've had a horrible day, are staying over with friends or family or just don't feel like doin' it. That doesn't mean your significant other has to suffer. As our Chief Lust Officer and co-Founder Erica Grigg says, "I definitely recommend my husband masturbate!" And you should, too. Why? Read on. Erica Grigg reports.

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According to AdamandEve.com, 27% of Americans admit to masturbating once weekly. Seems a little low, no? Well, if you're not sure why you should encourage the man in your life to masturbate, consider these 5 reasons.

#1 Masturbation helps you last longer

If you're as lucky as me, you'll be dealing with this on the other side. Being ready to finish and he's just started. But if you come prematurely, masturbation can be a way to prolong your orgasm and give you and your partner more time for penetration. Of course, it's not just about lasting longer--you can spend more time on foreplay activities like cunnilingus.

According to Men's Health, masturbation trains your man by timing how long it takes you to orgasm, suggests Ava Cadell, Ph.D., founder of LoveologyUniversity.com. If it usually takes two minutes solo, try for three next time. Or count how many strokes you need to get to your happy place. If you’re spurting after 50, shoot for 60. “Most men can double the number of strokes and the time within one month,” Cadell says.

#2 Masturbation relieves stress

Having an orgasm can be an amazing experience, even if your significant other isn't in the mood to partake. After you orgasm, you'll feel ready to take on the world.

#3 Because we all need orgasms

"We are programmed, as best we know, to need orgasms," says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist in Athens, Ga. "It's a fundamental aspect of men's health, right up there with brushing your teeth." And the more you know about what satisfies you solo, the more pleasure you get from sex. Again, according to Men's Health.

#4 It reduces risk of prostate cancer

In 2011, the Harvard Medical School announced a finding men everywhere could get excited about. A 2003 Australian study found that men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer. Regularly flushing your system, so to speak, keeps your semen healthy and prevents the build up of cancer-causing chemicals.

#5 Orgasm has major health benefits

Jennifer Bass, of Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction notes, "The release from orgasm does much to calm people. It helps with sleep, and that is whether we talk about solo sex or sex with a partner," according to Sexploration. There's also an intense feeling of calm and relaxation after orgasm.

If you want to improve the way you masturbate, check out our recommendations for how to have the best male masturbation. As long as your self love sessions don't make your partner feel excluded, and you emphasize it's both about your pleasure and their pleasure, you're in the clear. But don't hide the fact that you're masturbating. If your partner is not happy about your masturbation, have a conversation with them before your next session. Again, communication is an essential to an amazing sexual relationship.

This is post by Erica Grigg, our Founder and Chief Lust Officer. She's a writer, marketer, social entrepreneur and sex geek. She wants to end boring sex.  If you don't see Erica riding around Chicago in her beach cruiser or at a diner with her adoring husband and co-Founder Tim Watson, you see her chatting up the tech community about the importance of sex and love in marriage. Follow Erica on Twitter @ericagrigg or subscribe via Facebook and Google+. 

Want to connect about writing, or business partnership with a woman-run business that cares? E-mail me directly at erica@getlusty.com.

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Do Kegels This #ToyWithMeTuesday!

We've talked about domination, restraints, contracts, and many other sexy forms of control. What about the subtleties of simple muscle control? Think of how many muscles go into a good love session. Usually we think of our legs, backs, and mostly our pelvises doing a majority of the work. GetLusty's Ellen Dukes is here to give a shout out to the often underrated, if not forgotten, Kegel muscles.

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Allow me a quick anatomy lesson, readers. Pelvic floor muscles, or Kegels as named for the gynecologist Arnold Kegel, extend from the front pubic bone all the way back towards the anus. The muscles help with everything from urination to childbirth, even orgasm.

Both male and female genitalia can benefit from Kegel exercise. For men, stronger Kegel's mean lasting longing, or at help staunch premature ejaculation, as well as stronger orgasms. Women also receive a whole lovely list of pluses from regular pelvic exercise, but what I'm mostly focusing on are the sexy benefits.

Firstly, the basic muscle move: the squeeze. 

You may not fully be aware of the muscle, but when you contract it, you'll know. Focus on your pelvis and pretend you're about to pee. Then stop the imaginary stream. Feel that smaller contraction? For guys it should be at the base of your scrotum, before your anus. Ladies, you'll feel it right around your vagina. It may sound bewilderingly obvious, but simply being aware of this powerful band of muscles can make a huge difference in your sex life. Ok, now that you've contracted, release. And that's the exercise. Seriously. It's small, but just ten minutes a day and you're on your way.

Try a few of these as well:

• Slowly contract in, almost in stages: loosely, tighter, even tighter, tightest. Then release in reverse. Think of it like ab crunches, just farther south and slower.
• Focus on the movement and control of the muscles.
• Squeeze for as long as you can, then slowly release. Try holding for 15 seconds, then 30, then even a full minute.
• Pulse squeeze for a minute, then rest a minute. Try going faster, then alternate slower.

The best part of these exercises? Do them anywhere! Try them at your desk, in the shower, or on the phone. Not like anyone can truly tell, so there's no excuse for the shy ones. It's a simple, easy, and fairly painless way to stronger Kegels, thus stronger orgasms.

Unfortunately for our lovely male readers, this next section is focused solely on vaginal tools.

The vagina is an extremely important muscle, not simply an orifice. What you awesome guys can do is encourage your lady partner to try out some of these tools at home. Seriously, it will play to both your favors in the end. And we're off!

Silicone would be best for beginners. The material is wonderfully hygienic, softer, and warms easily to your body's temperature. Glass sounds terrifyingly breakable, especially for such a tender area, but well made balls are perfectly safe. You may've read about some stainless steel balls used in Fifty Shades of Grey. Steel is also another perfectly fine material, you may want to warm them in your hands before insertion though.

Now you may be pondering the plural form of balls, wondering if there must always be more than one. Nay, reader, nay!

Though these toys usually come in pairs, do not feel it necessary to use both at the same time. Try one for a while, then work up to two. Pinkcherry actually sells singular Smartballs with a helpful strap for removal which look very promising for beginners. Our friend Tizzy Wall even did a YouTube video tutorial on these little lovelies.

Also, similar to the balls are crystal eggs. Though they look more like table top decorations, these eggs function the same as balls. The egg shape allows for a different, but equally pleasurable experience, as well as a new shape to work your Kegels around.

They're typically heavier than balls, which can make for a bit more of a challenge, so I'd recommend these as a transitional toy. Again, do not feel pressured to place both eggs in at once if you're not ready. These exercises are about knowing your strength and focusing on the sensual control you have over your own body. What's the point if you feel uncomfortable or downright pained?

Lastly, there are the kegel weights or bars. Think along the lines of dildoes meets Ben Wa. Again, usually silicone or glass, these exercisers focus on the same muscles as balls or eggs, simply with a different shape and approach. The phallus shape allows for more of the vaginal wall to grip while you can actually pull the bar farther inside of you, or push it out. Kind of like vaginal pull ups, but with an arousing aspect. Pinkcherry has several models to choose from, differing in shape, length, and girth. I would recommend beginning with a very simple form, like Berman Intimate's Kona. We recommend only water-based lubes with this product, due to its texture.

Now that I've armed you with more vaginal knowledge, go forth! And remember your daily Kegels!

This is a guest post by GetLusty writer, Ellen Dukes. Though Ellen Dukes is not an ethical slut (a damn respectable title, she'll have you know), her curiosity, openness, and the indefatigable search engine Google have lead her to a 21st century sex education.

A Chicagoan, you may see Ellen enjoying the delights of her deeply loving relationship with her boyfriend. Have a naughty story? She's heard naughtier, but tell her all the same at editorial@getlusty.com. She's a wannabe sexpert with years of porn viewing, listening to sex stories, and textbook browsing just waiting to put this knowledge to wonderful use.

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BDSM With Everyday Items: a How-to

Now that you've heard about Fifty Shades of Grey, you might be wondering if BDSM is going to be a big investment. Well, to do it right, leather and suede whips and high-quality corsets are beautiful and well worth their price tag. But if you're just getting into it, we recommend trying BDSM out for size first. GetLusty's UK-based Sara Albaladejo explains more.

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So after having a chat about it you and your hubby are up for trying some BDSM, brilliant! The idea of being tied gets both of you in the dirty mood. You can almost feel the teasing of that flogger along your thighs leaving you breathless… Hold on, you don’t have any of those leathery, kinky toys? Don’t worry, we are going to give you some inexpensive ideas that will turn any object in a potential tool of pleasure!

Game of sensations

You can start to heat up the engine through playing with the sensations of your lover, make him or her beg for more! Although you can use flavors and scents to create different reactions, the skin is the largest organ in your body, why not take advantage of it? Increasing its sensitivity will get you ready to feel the experience to the highest level. Have a look inside your closet, I bet you can easily find the following three items.

- Scarf: use it to slowly caress the whole of the body. The sensation it creates depends on the thickness of the skin and the amount of nerves you are touching, use it wisely. Try going from her knees to her pussy and up to her breasts, it will make her shiver with pleasure.

- Feathers: Are you ticklish? Get a smile out of your man! It will make both of you feel comfortable and relaxed.

- Studded belt: Is the previous too soft for you? Give your old punkie belt a second chance. Vary the pressure you apply but be careful if the spikes you are using are likely to damage the skin of your lover, we don't like blood in our sheets!

Get tied up

One of Anna and Christian’s favorite sex practices. How many times has she been tied up and handcuffed before having orgasm after orgasm? Bondage has always been a big one in BDSM and it is definitely worth adding to your bedroom repertoire.

- Tie: Easy, cheap and sexy. Take it off his shirt in the middle of an enticing kiss, swing it around your finger, slide your hands through it and give him a cheeky look. By that point he should have got the hint. Get yourself ready.

- Rope/laces: About to throw those trainers? Keep the laces because they may come in handy soon. Would you like a collar for that pussycat? Go for a sexy shop with your couple to your dollar-store, you will probably find this and much more for a few bucks (in case you are using plastic or rough material remember to watch out for friction burns!).

- Tights: Another piece of clothes you should slide off her with a dirty look and a dirtier purpose. Try tracing wet kisses up and down those legs before tying her hands up.

Turn the lights off

Are you afraid of darkness? Here's the best way to cure it: close your eyes and let the rest of your senses have control of your body.

- Fabric: If the clothes you are wearing are too expensive to be torn off in the heat of the passion, tear an old t-shirt off to get an on-the-go blindfold.

- Sleep mask: Worried about your beauty sleep? Check out our article on 9 surprising health benefits of sex and give that sleeping mask a better use. After what is waiting for you your body will be so relaxed that you won’t need it anymore.

- Hands: challenge her/his self-control and reward accordingly. If you move, Miss Steele, Christian won’t have mercy upon you.

Enjoy smacking their ass

The raw sound of the hit. The touch of his hand against your hot naked skin. The moan of pleasure bursting out your lips… If you aren’t already loving being spanked or the simple act of spanking, you are wasting time!

- Hair brush: Be greedy and enjoy both sides of your hair brush; use the bristles to caress your lover’s skin and the flat part to give that naughty ass what it deserves.

- Slippers: As a kid I was always threatened to be spanked with a slipper if I misbehaved. Who would have said that I was going to enjoy it this much as an adult?

- Belt: Not for the faint of heart. Once you feel comfortable with your spanking technique (and I’m sure you will have loads of practice!) try using a plain belt to get a harder hit,
you will soon see those butt-cheeks
wiggling in surprise and delight.

Thanks to Korean Fashion for photo #1, Shirtskey for photo #2 and Padme Amidala's Journey to the Darkside for photo #3!

Sara is our resident, sexy British-Spanish writer. After finishing high school she followed the family tradition of becoming a teacher, and graduated as a Foreign Language Primary Teacher in 2011. Since then she has been living in the UK, where she copes with the British weather with her loving boyfriend. She is passionate about writing and was awarded various contests in Spain (where she was born) and has also been recognized one of the best writers of her age in her region in 2010. She loves taking her camera out whenever she can, as photography is another of her hobbies.

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5 Tips For Young Parents To Have More Sex

Everyone seems to be busy, tired, or both these days. With jobs, families, and social life commitments how does anyone have time for sex? Now just imagine throwing in a few young children into the mix and sex becomes that much more difficult. Nadine Thornhill, sexual health educator, writer, partner and parent can relate and understand to what other suffering parental units are going through. She has come up with 5 ways to keep your sex life thriving because everyone deserves sex on a regular basis.

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You are so into each other! So much so that you’ve made a life together and thrown some little people in the mix for good measure! They’re beautiful, amazing kids who are totally harshing your sex buzz. Been there, done that. Or more accurately: am there, doing that. I certainly haven’t found the secret of living with a young child AND maintaining a rigorous schedule of hot monkey sex. But The Man of Mans and I have managed to be co-parents and sex partners and sometimes we manage to do both on the same day.

Here are 5 strategies that have worked for us and might work for you too.

Just so things are clear:

MoMs- Man of Mans, Nadine's partner and co-parent

Green Bean (or "The Bean")- Nadine's child

#1 Masturbate – it’s okay.

No really. It is! I admit that sometimes I feel a little weird about it. I mean, here I have a perfectly sexypants partner within touching distance and here I am going to town on myself. But here’s my deal. Sometimes libido is about the desire to connect with my husband in an intimate and naked way. But sometimes it’s because my nethers are aflame and about to burst out of my pantaloons! Meanwhile, it’s midnight on a day that started at 5 a.m. and the only propect that excites The MoMs is a big fluffy pillow. Yes I could try to goad him into sleepy, grudging sex, but there are times when it’s easier and ultimately everyone will be happier if I rub one out and hit the sack.

A quick note to sleepy partners everywhere. Sleep is important, so if your body’s asking for it, that’s what you should do. But if you’re up for it, maybe pop open your PJs to expose your lover’s favorite naughty bit before you nod off. A little masturbatory inspiration goes a long way!

#2 Express it. Don’t expect it.

As a working parent, some days get very, very busy and I become very, very overwhelmed. By the time The Bean is tucked away for the night and the last item on my to-do list is crossed off, I barely feel human, let alone like a human with functioning sex parts. By now, The Man of Mans has a keen sense of when “do not enter” vibes are emanating from my vagina. But he says awesome stuff like, “I know you’re not for sex right now and that’s cool. I just want you to know that you give me the feelings.”

I’ve run myself ragged and to the world-at-large I have all the sex appeal of a mop. But a partner who’s still warm for my form and chill about letting me veg out while watching, "So You Think You Can Dance"? That’s hot!

#3 Non-sexual touching

You know those obnoxious snuggly couples who hold hands all the time and sit on each other’s laps? You need to cut them some slack, jack – especially if they have kids!

Physical contact promotes intimacy, affection, trust and all kinds of positive feelings. Those good feelings help counter some of the less wonderful side-effects of parenting, which may include confusion, guilt, frustration, worry, shock and more frustration. Believe me – that icky, schmoopy cuddly stuff is the glue that's holding my relationship together!

#4 Porn

Sometimes if The MoMs has gone a while without sex, I’ll decide enough is enough! Being a mother and being a sexually viable human being are not mutually exclusive and tonight I’m gonna get me some! But sometimes, even when my mind is willing, my body is weaksauce and I can’t quite jump start my arousal. And yes there’s the whole lovely candles, wine, gentle kisses, blah, blah, romance novel seduction, but The MoMs and I have to get up early and get The Green Bean off to school. Also, I’m clumsy and likely to knock over the candles, thus burning the house down.

Porn is a quick, reliable way to get turned on. Watching my favorite scene from Debbie Does Dallas makes Nadine want the sex now. Not everyone is comfortable with porn, which is cool. But for those parents that don’t oppose the injection of a little erotica, remember that in addition to film, there are novels, short stories, comics and I think you can get porn on the Internet now too.

#5 Lube and toys

Sex toys aren't just for dirty people! Similar to porn, a good slick lube and reliable sex toys are both excellent tools for the busy parent who needs a quick and efficient orgasm. Like many people, I keep my collection of lube and battery-powered sex-ccessories in the nightstand. This makes for easy night time access and quick, convenient clean-up once the deed is done. As the parent of a young child, I only have about 90 seconds before the post-coital sedation renders me unconscious. I don’t want The Green Bean to come in and find my Liv lying around the bedroom the next morning. I’m not ready to field those questions yet.



This is a guest post by Nadine Thornhill. Nadine is a sexual health educator, playwright, poet, burlesque performer, partner and parent living in Ottawa, Ontario. The plays and poetry she creates tend toward subjects such as clitorises, vibrators and non-monogamy.

She enjoys candy, fashion and dreck television. She does not care for pants. Find her on Twitter @NadineThornhill. She also blogs on the Adorkable Undies. Find her blog on Facebook and Pinterest.

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Dispelling 3 Myths of the Sex Toys for Couples

We love sex toys. Sex toys can make a great addition to your couple. But are you afraid of sex toys, or know people who are? Those might say that sex toys shouldn't supplement their partner, or a variety of other excuses. Not true. And while it's #ToyWithMeTuesday and #SexToyTuesday on Twitter (@getlusty) and Google+, we thought now would be a great time to talk about sex toys. Our favorite counseling couple, Chuck and Jo Ann Bird, are here to talk about the biases of the sex toy-loving couple. And why we should keep an open mind about introducing sex toys to the bedroom.

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We love going to Toys R Us and of the toy stores, because the displays are just amazingly vibrant — all the counters and walls are draped with these bright, blazing primary colors with packages designed to capture the eye and hold your attention.

For us, it’s also fun going to couples’ stores where adult toys are sold, because the displays are strikingly the same, awash in primary colors with a few more bright pinks, reds and purples — though the imagery is typically far from family friendly.

We’re enthused that adult toys have become more mainstream, but we also know there are a lot of people out there who are reluctant to consider the use of what used to be called “marital aids” in their bedroom repertoire. Many couples won’t even set foot in an adult video or toy store for fear of what the neighbors might say. Or maybe it's just a feeling that sex toys stores are only used by swingers or people obsessed with sex. Well, having been sexologists for nearly a decade, we have a little news for you — your neighbors have probably already been there, too.

Toys can be a healthy and welcome addition to a couple’s bedroom practices. Though we do understand the reasons why many people haven’t yet ventured behind the curtain to see what’s out there. So, we’ve assembled a few of the reasons we’ve heard over the years, with a slightly more enlightened view to counter them.

#1 Only dirty people use sex toys

There is a sense, you could even call it a mild prudishness that some couples have regarding sex toys. We attribute that to the compressed conflict that is sexuality in America. We use sex to sell cars, beer, website domains (thanks for the cheesecake, GoDaddy!) and even corn chips, but we are reluctant to address our own sexuality with the same openness.

Sex isn’t dirty, unless, of course, thinking of it as dirty is a turn-on for you. The truth is, sex is healthy, fun and downright necessary for a strong, long-term romantic relationship. Being ashamed of enjoying sex is like being ashamed of eating to us. It’s a normal, healthy human activity when performed by consenting adults. So, if sex isn’t dirty, neither are toys used to enhance the sexual experience. If you’ve never gone to an adult toy store, the initial imagery may be a little shocking, but if you go in with an open mind, you might actually find yourself having fun before you know it.

#2 Toys are only for masturbation

Over the years, as the sexual revolution took hold, women became empowered and chose to indulge their desires with or without a partner and stop being ashamed of their own sexuality. The sale and use of vibrators and other toys skyrocketed, and these toys became associated primarily with masturbation. But that is not their only function. In point of fact, many toys are far more effective and fun when they are wielded by a partner.

Now, you don’t really need to be a sexologist to figure that out. A little basic geometry is all you need. When you compare the range of angles a woman can reach using her own arm to the range of motion by a partner who is correctly positioned, it’s clear that a partner can do a lot more with those toys to help a woman receive the full benefit of whatever implements she may have in the toy bag. In fact, many toys on the market today are specifically designed to be used by a partner and are practically useless for masturbation. So, wipe away that old connotation of toys. Some games are most definitely more fun when played by two.

#3 Toys will replace me as a partner

As a tandem of the above concern, some partners are concerned that some toys may deliver sensations and experiences that just cannot be matched by simple human to human interaction, and they fear that the toys will replace them in bed. Granted, there are some toys that are very ingenuitive these days. From swivel-headed vibrators to the Sybian (think of a sit-down vibrator run by an outboard motor) to other greats. We completely understand how they can be a little intimidating to say the least.

There has been many a partner who has had to peel a woman off the ceiling after experiencing some of the more innovative devices on the market. But a toy cannot replace the sexual dynamic that two people can achieve together. The largest and most important sexual organ in the human body is the brain, and no matter the horsepower of the toy involved, they have yet to market anything with the imagination and creativity of the human mind. By joining your partner in the enjoyment of toys, you will be an inextricable part of their sexual lives and your role will be secure as long as you share your hearts and your imaginations together. So don’t be afraid.

Minds work best when they are open. And so do toys, once they are out of the box and in your bedroom.

Want to win a LELO Tiani 2? We're one giving one away by December 1st from SheVibe. 'Like' GetLusty on Facebook to enter!

Drs. Chuck and Jo-Ann Bird and are Board Certified Clinical Sexologists and Relationship Counselors. They co-counsel couples together which offers a unique and balanced male/female perspective and a combined therapy/coaching approach to helping their clients with a variety of relationship and sexual issues/concerns. Due to our last name and work they do, they've become known as “The Love Birds”.

They have 16 + years of personal experience in a healthy, loving and successful relationship. We know how to solve problems and work through difficulties that couples may face on a daily basis. We know ways to keep relationships strong and healthy. We offer you tools and strategies that can make positive changes in your relationship. Find out more about Chuck. Alternatively, find out more about Jo-Ann. Also, follow them on Twitter and 'Like' them on Facebook.

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Feel at Home at Tulip Toy Gallery

This article is by GetLusty for Couples contributing writer Greg Dorn. Greg writes primarily about business and events around the Chicago area to keep couple's sex lives, fresh, fun and stimulating. With a girlfriend of over 2 years, Greg has visited a plethora of sex toy shops to keep his own sex life exhilarating and electrifying. After visiting Tulip Toy Gallery, he thinks you will too. There are two Tulip Galleries, but this one focused on Tulip in Andersonville.

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The minute you step inside Tulip Toy Gallery, you immediately know you're in the quirky and hip Andersonville neighborhood. Located at 1480 W Berwyn Ave directly off the Berwyn Red Line stop, it's a hop, skip and jump away from virtually anywhere in the city.

The shop is small, yet packs a big punch. The selection of erotic goodies and sexy outfits will keep you there much longer than you probably had expected.

Like the area itself, the shop's selling point is it's warm and welcoming environment. Known primarily as a must-visit destination for the surrounding lesbian community, the friendly staff will keep you engaged for hours. You come for the items, you stay for the conversation. The knowledgeable staff offers a non-judgmental environment, as conversation, chitchat and laughter fill this tiny gem. Shy shoppers be aware, the staff will joyfully talk your ear off (and offer you ways to nibble on them).

Oh yea, and they have anything you can possibly want for an erotic evening reserved only for your wildest fantasies (believe me, this place will help make them a reality). The sex toys for both men and women are plentiful.

This north side Chicago joint even lets you try items out of the box so you know exactly what you're getting yourself into (or into you). The toys aren't the only items lining the walls of this eye-catching gallery. You'll find a terrific selection of books and erotic movies for all interests. Come alone, come with a friend or a whole group. With the hands-on experience, you may never leave!

In Chicago? Sign up to our Beta! Not sure? Read our top 10 reasons why you should sign up.

This is a guest post by Greg Dorn. 

Greg is a self-employed day trader who loves writing. He aims to think about sex whenever possible, including a variety of ways to enhance his own love life. If you don't see Greg crunching numbers, you'll find him enjoying the beauty of his wonderful girlfriend around Chicago. Want to give recommendations of businesses, products or sexy events around Chicago you'd like covered? E-mail Greg with your ideas to editorial@getlusty.com.

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Sqweel 2: the Tongue Toy Reviewed for #SexToyTuesday

So we'll be drawing a name today for the Sqweel 2. But before we do, we just wanted to give you a little taste of the Sqweel phenomenon. It's the, "World's Best Selling Oral Sex Toy". But what does that mean for your pleasure? Charity from Mom's Toy Boxxx is here to talk about what she found wonderful, amazing and less amazing about the Sqweel 2. And stay tuned to find out the winner!

* * *

Squeel 2 (10 tongues at my command? Yes please!)

Maybe it's been a while since I've had some great oral sex. But is it wrong that I got wet just looking at this? The idea of 10 tongues at my control is just too good! I used a dildo with the Sqweel 2, in hindsight I should have used one without a base to it, as the base ended up getting in the way.

Mom notes:

- Non-penis looking. But I still think it would be hard to come up with an explanation if your kids found it.
- Not a "quick-hiding" toy (you have to hold the power button down to turn it off)
- I would consider this a loud toy. I couldn't use it while my partner is asleep beside me and it's not waterproof, so you'll need some "mommy time" to enjoy this one
- Takes at least 3 minutes to wash & dry it at a sink (make sure you have the time right after use)
- You'll need 3-AAA batteries and lube

First Impressions:

- The box it came in was cute! Check out the little pinwheel decal on the sides (see pic)
- Not a victim of over-packaging
- Smaller than I anticipated (in a good way)

This product was provided to me by Ohhh Canada, an online store that only ships within Canada. The box was plain and had no markings to indicate it was from a sex store. Check out there website and their logo; how cute! The site is great for moms, it's female-friendly (no raunchy porn pics here), and the store is founded and run by women (yay!).

Side notes
 
- You may need to trim your pubic hair ladies. Not for possible tangles (that can't happen due to the design of this toy), but for easier access to your clitoris.
- You also may want a pillow under your bottom for more ergonomic angle.

Review

It's marketed as "The World's Best Selling Oral Sex Toy". How many oral sex toys are there out there for women? Personally I don't care if it's the "best selling", I want to know if it feels good.

So, let's cut to the chase. The 6 million dollar question: Does it really feel like oral sex? No, in my opinion it doesn't feel like oral sex. Mainly because there is no heat - a mouth is hot (literally and figuratively) and unless your partner is a robot, a live tongue isn't able to reach the speeds the Sqweel 2 does. However - that's not to say the Squeel 2 doesn't have it's advantages!

The tongues are soft and flexible. Even at their highest speed I found them pleasurable. You'll need to apply a water-based lubricant to the tongues and yourself prior to use. To apply, I put the toy on low and drizzled a bit of the lube onto the moving tongues, then used my finger to spread it around while they were sill moving.

There are 3 speeds that work in forward and reverse. There is a forth setting where the tongues move back-forth-back-forth-back-forth (seven settings altogether). You move through each setting by pushing the on/off switch over and over again - a bit distracting but also easy to access with your index finger while using the toy (see photo)

On its own the Squeel 2's volume is similar to a vibrating cell phone, but once you start using it against your body the volume increases to a deeper, louder buzzing.

It is easy to wash, but takes 3 minutes (I timed myself). Because I used a water-based lubricant I was able to clean it with just water. You'll need to take it apart and wash all three pieces. BUT remember the large base is NOT waterproof and the battery compartment is NOT water-resistant. I did not remember this when I was washing it and ended up getting a small amount of water in with the batteries (no harm done).

Another plus is that it can be used all over the body - nipples, ear lobes, neck, where ever you like. The only improvement I would like to see is some type of grip added to the sides. The case is hard plastic and gets slippery with the slightest amount of lubricant.

I totally recommend the Squeel 2. It's fun, different and would make a great gift for a friend.

Good

- Unique
- Adjustable motor speed
- Power button is conveniently placed for when in use
- Easy to clean

Not So Good

- Gets slippery if lube is on fingers/hands
- Not waterproof

Bottom Line

Type: All over body, intended for clitoris
Volume = 3/5
Cost = $ (apprx $50 CAD/ $50 USD)
Storage Size = Box/Drawer
Power = 3-AAA
Waterproof = No
Good for = Beginner+

Personal Experience: 3.5/5

Originally posted at Mom's Toy Boxxx.

Have a spare 5 minutes to help end boring sex? Also get entered to win a Sqweel 2? Fill out our quick survey on the next stage of GetLusty for Couples here. 

Charity is the author of Mom's Toy Boxxx, a sex toy review site for moms. After having kids Charity found her sex toy needs changed. "Volume" control, toy storage, cost and ease of use all took on new meanings once kids were in the house. Even a toy's appearance can influence a mom's purchase: as she's written: "I'd rather my kids find my vibrator than a phallic-looking dildo"!

Being a mom can be exhausting, and by the time the kids are asleep, sometimes the last thing a mom wants to do is put time and energy into getting off. Foreplay often takes too long, or isn't long enough and does not guarantee an orgasm. There's nothing wrong with a quickie, but it just doesn't satisfy like a toy can. Charity's goal is to help moms navigate the vast toy market quickly and efficiently to find satisfying items...and remember that just because you're a mom, doesn't mean you're sexual needs aren't still a big part of the picture! Follow Charity on Twitter @MomsToyBoxxx.

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GetLusty's 6 Favorite Lingerie Stores in Chicago

Need help revving up your sex life? Well lucky for you! Chicago is host to many lingerie shops that can cater to every relationship's needs and desires. Lingerie is not only sexy, but it makes us, as women, feel beautiful, confident, and radiant. Lingerie is a great way to escape your norm. Here are our top 6 local, Chicago lingerie stores that will guide you to feeling your utmost sexiest!

* * *


#1 Skyscraper Heels

Skyscraper Heels, located in Roscoe Village, specializes in custom made boots, heels! They also feature out of this world corsets! The owner, Gary, is very welcoming and makes his clients feel super comfortable. Next time you need some sexy shoes or a beautiful corset, head to Skyscraper Heels!

#2 Intimacy 

Intimacy is located in the Gold Coat neighborhood, Intimacy is, well, intimate. Their managers are knowledgeable and it's just a swanky place. Their Yelp reviews are astoundingly good for a reason. Check out what one of their customers had to say,"She was transformed by getting herself something beautiful that fit well. She looked great and her confidence went up. Her posture seemed to get better instantly." How lovely is that?!

#3 Taboo Tabou 

Although Taboo Tabou is also a sex toy shop, they feature a wide range of both lingerie and sexy corsets. Their motto is, "Not for the faint of heart, Taboo Tabou is for adults who make and enjoy adult choices." Unlike other sex shops in the city, Taboo Tabou has a wide range of sexy intimates and playful role play costumes. They are located in the Lakeview neighborhood, just under the Belmont brown line train.


#4 Underthings

Underthings, is a small, intimate boutique located in the Lincoln Park neighborhood. The reason why Underthings is one of our  favorite is because it's not intimidating! The quaint storefront has a friendly staff and offers clothing from pajamas to sassy lingerie. Don't neglect your negligees! Let Underthings guide you to find your right size or the perfect gift for a bachelorette.

#5 Enchante Lingerie

Enchante, located on Michigan Ave., gives customers personalized and attentive service among the hustle and bustle of the 900 N. Michigan shops. Perhaps that is why it has been such a successful, local business operating for 18 years.

Although small, they house big brands, like Patricia Fieldwalker and Lise Chanel. Purchase sleepwear, swimwear or intimates. Getting married? You can even register with Enchante! Well worth the visit to their downtown-located, hustle-and-bustle store location!

#6 G*Boutique 

G Boutique is a "concept developed by women, for women." G Boutique features both beautiful lingerie and erotica! It's one stop shopping in this Bucktown neighborhood gem. G Boutique is a comfortable and approachable environment for both men and women! In fact, they have a loyal male following! So next time you need some lingerie, head to G Boutique and maybe pick up a new toy as well!

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The Rabbit Pearl. Yes, It's Fabulous!

It is #SexToyTuesday in the GetLusty office! One thing we absolutely love to discuss is vibrators! Not only are a fabulous way to pleasure yourself, but couples can use them to turn each other on during foreplay!

One vibrator that seems to always come to mind is the Rabbit! I bet there is not one woman out there who doesn't know what the Rabbit is. If you have ever watched, "Sex and the City" you may remember the episode, "The Turtle and the Hare". It's from Season 1. What happens? Charlotte gets addicted to her first vibrator; the Rabbit. From Mom's Toy Boxxx, Charity is here to give you her real and honest opinion about this very famous sex toy!

* * *

Rabbit Pearl (Yup, it's as good as you've heard!)

Mom's Notes:

- This one is loud ladies. Make sure no one is around or everyone is asleep
- It's as good as you've heard
- Uses 3-C batteries (have them handy so you don't need to steal from your kid's toy fire truck.)

First Impressions:

- Wow! This looks fun!
- Thought: "A wire... hmm, not sure if I like that"
- Silly details: the head of the toy is just that - a "head", there is a silly little face on the toy (I think because China is not allowed to export sex toys, and putting a face on it makes it less... "adult" - at least that's what I've been told.)

Personal Experience: 5/5

I can see why Charlotte (from "Sex and the City") would deem men "unnecessary" after experiencing the Rabbit! This was my first "simultaneous-sensation" toy (as in internal and external at the same time), and it changed my sex toy requirements forever!

Review:

I think it might be safe to say this is a well known toy, thanks to the character Charlotte on "Sex and the City."  I (like many) just had to try it.

The Rabbit is a smooth, soft vibrator with a jelly-like material called Elastomer (less porous than cyberskin but more porous than silicone). The power pack is a little heavier than 3-C batteries and feels comfortable in your hand (no shaking or vibrating in your palm). I did not find the 23" long wire distracting, or noticeable (I totally forgot it was there).

At top speed, this is a powerful toy. There are two sliding controls - one to control the vibrations of the rabbit, and one to control the spinning shaft. You can use both separately or together at varying speeds. It spins on an angle, making a circular motion inside the vagina, while at the same time the pearls ripple at the vaginal opening. The ability to use the vibrations or spinning separately (or together) make it perfect for anyone.

3 distinct features:

#1 The vibrating rabbit: The ears of the rabbit are soft and bendy (see photos). The vibrations carry right through to the tips of the bunny's ears. Depending on where/how you place them, the ears can straddle the clitoris. At top speed, with fresh batteries, and without the shaft spinning at the same time, the vibrations are quite intense (and loud).

#2 The spinning shaft: This is a well made toy. The shaft is strong, with a solid metal bar deep in the middle. The spinning motion is smooth and comfortable. You control the speed of the spin with the sliding control piece mentioned earlier.

#3 The rippling pearls: If you've had kids, you may not find these as noticeable like someone with a "pre-child" vagina would (sorry, but given the focus of this blog - I have to say it like it is). When combined with the spinning shaft and vibrations, the pearls provide stimulation that make the entire experience EXTREMELY pleasurable.

I highly recommend the Rabbit Pearl. It is well made, and will provide years of pleasure. Given it's well know reputation, I would even buy this as a gift for a girlfriend.

There are many, many duplicates out there, so do your research and pick one that is made well and has the features you think sound fun. In the US, Eden Fantasy's has this exact model.



Good:
- Batteries last a long time
- Personalized speed and power
- Rabbit ears are flexible and provide multiple placement options

Not So Good:
- Power decreases when using both vibrator and spinner.

Bottom Line:
Type: Vaginal
Volume = 5/5
Cost = $50-$75
Storage Size = Box
Power = 3-C batteries
Waterproof = No
Good for = Beginner+

Originally posted at Mom's Toy Boxxx.

Charity is the author of Mom's Toy Boxxx, a sex toy review site for moms. After having kids Charity found her sex toy needs changed. "Volume" control, toy storage, cost and ease of use all took on new meanings once kids were in the house. Even a toy's appearance can influence a mom's purchase: as she's written: "I'd rather my kids find my vibrator than a phallic-looking dildo"!

Being a mom can be exhausting, and by the time the kids are asleep, sometimes the last thing a mom wants to do is put time and energy into getting off. Foreplay often takes too long, or isn't long enough and does not guarantee an orgasm. There's nothing wrong with a quickie, but it just doesn't satisfy like a toy can. Charity's goal is to help moms navigate the vast toy market quickly and efficiently to find satisfying items...and remember that just because you're a mom, doesn't mean you're sexual needs aren't still a big part of the picture! Follow Charity on Twitter @MomsToyBoxxx.

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A Sexy Pillow? Furniture for Pleasure? Yes, Please!

As we enter week two of Orgasm October, I'd like to turn our attention to furniture. And not just any couch, bed, or chair. This is furniture specifically made to enhance your love life. In most porn, they make it look easy. Just bend over the couch, stretch out over the bed, put your leg here, butt here. Pretty soon, you're in an X-rated game of Twister. And while that could be some awesome foreplay, mid-coitus, when her arms are tired or his legs fall asleep, a little support could be the perfect push into orgasm-land. Ellen Dukes is back with some fun sex furniture suggestions to make your sex life even more fantastic!

* * *

This week's sex toy focus is on the sex cushion. Think of a plushy wedge or ramp you can angle for nearly every position; marrying comfort with sex. Seriously, what could be better?

I would suggest Pinkcherry's Fetish Fantasy Inflatable Position Master. Not only is it light and portable (hence inflatable), the Position Master has a gently sloping angle perfect for elevating hips to that perfect position, plus handles on the side for grasping during those intense moments. And the price is right, so for first timers just testing the waters, trying this toy won't break your bank.

The ramp shape tends to be the more popular shape for sex furniture. If you haven't already experimented with adding pillows beneath his or her hips for a new experience, the ramp is absolutely perfect for easing into these new positions. While pillows work in a pinch, wedges likes the Position Master, give far more support to make each thrust count.

Think about those staple positions you use most. Missionary, while tried and true, becomes a bull's eye for a lady's g-spot. Her elevated hips angle his penis right towards the upper wall of the vagina. Once you try that golden move out, try placing the wedge on the edge of the bed, with him standing. For those with beds not quite high enough, now you have some wiggle room!

Or, how about the delightful doggie style? With her bent over, sometimes arms, legs and even your back can get tired. Or, for those partner's with shorts legs, the angle just doesn't work well. With the wedge supporting her, she gets lifted those couple extra inches! The cushion will make the move from behind a nightly go-to.

What about the cowgirls out there? Place the wedge under his upper back to bring both partners closer while she rides. Or, place the highest part under his hips for a wild romp. Seriously, the combinations are endless, especially including other favorite toys like, restraints or vibrators.

In fact, for those seasoned in the ways of sex furniture or those looking for more, here's a treat for you. Pinkcherry's Inflatable Love Lounger. All the ease of the inflatable wedge, plus many more sexy benefits. Perhaps a well timed anniversary gift for that adventurous couple? Even a kinky Christmas gift for your significant other?

Just remember, it's all about that slight change that can make an enormous difference in your sex life. Be open, be safe, be sexy and give yourself some wild orgasms this month. You deserve it!

This is a guest post by GetLusty writer, Ellen Dukes. Though Ellen Dukes is not an ethical slut (a damn respectable title, she'll have you know), her curiosity, openness, and the indefatigable search engine Google have lead her to a 21st century sex education.

A Chicagoan, you may see Ellen enjoying the delights of her deeply loving relationship with her boyfriend. Have a naughty story? She's heard naughtier, but tell her all the same at ellen@getlusty.com. She's a wannabe sexpert with years of porn viewing, listening to sex stories, and textbook browsing just waiting to put this knowledge to wonderful use.

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Exclusive! Searah Deysach on Masturbation & Self-Love

We simply adore Early to Bed. They recently celebrated their 11th anniversary, and we caught up with Owner Searah Deysach. Of course, we recorded a podcast for your listening pleasure.

More on what we talked about:

• Why did Searah start Early to Bed? As she notes, "Because of my own frustrations with sex toy shops in Chicago in the late '90s."
• She's interested in helping women become knowledgeable about their own bodies and working through issues of dissatisfaction in their sex lives.
  
• She strives to make sex new and exciting for customers, with mutual satisfaction and comfort, so sex and relationships are happy rather than stressful.
  
• She looks to get to know each customers individual situation to genuinely help them rather than simply sell products.
• Her main recommendation for a great sexual experience? "Be your own best lover"; she believes women especially need to explore their own bodies and their own sexual responses.
  
• Why is masturbation is so important to her? It's the power behind self-pleasure, as this helps in communicating your needs to your partner.
  
• She recommends taking various workshops (such as Early to Bed's blowjob workshop) to help create a mutually beneficial experience for both partners.
  
• What is Early to Bed working on? Workshops on less-discussed but important topics, such as cunnilingus.

More about Searah:

Frustrated with the lame sex toy scene in her hometown, Searah Deysach, with help from her friends and family, opened Chicago’s first woman-owned, education-focused sex shop, Early to Bed (early2bed.com) in 2001.

Now Searah spends her days spreading the good word about sex-positivity and the joys of masturbation through her store, writings and a busy schedule of talks at local community groups and colleges around the country. She was the sex columnist for (the now defunct) Punk Planet Magazine and has a blog skewering some of the more ridiculous aspects of the sex toy world at Screwy Sex Toys. She lives in Chicago with her girlfriend and their ridiculously adorable kid. Follow @EarlytoBed on Twitter and Facebook.

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3 Orgasm Toys for #SexToyTuesday

It's Orgasm October, lovelies! So what better time to say, "I want you to have a great orgasm. And by the way, I'll be having a great orgasm, too." If you can string all those words together, you'll definitely be worthy of some sexy goods. But wait... When was the last time you got a sex toy?

Playthings that make great couple's toys. While lots of folks use vibrators, dildos, masturbation sleeves and the like to enhance their solo-play, there are also a lot of great toys out there can be used by couples to make any sexual encounter a little more fun. Searah Deysach, owner of Early to Bed in Chicago, reports.

* * *

Finger vibes

So if you are your honey are having intercourse or giving each other head, you'd be amazed what a little vibration add to the action can do. She can slip a mini vibe her finger and she'll have an easy way to stimulate her clitoris while enjoying intercourse.

Performing fellatio or a handjob? A fingertip vibe used on the underside of his penis or his scrotum can be an incredible and new sensation. If you are giving her a good tongue lashing with cunnilingus, a fingertip vibe can be used to give your neck a break for a few seconds and clever folks can even use one at their tongue at the same time which could result in explosive orgasms for her!

Flirt Finger Vibe $20

Vibrating CockRings

Wann take Missionary Position to new heights? Have him slip on a vibrating cockring for yummy sensations during penetrative sex*. The ring helps maintain his erection by restricting blood flow and the vibe provides the kind of stimulation that many women need to have an orgasm.

But wait, there's more! Flip the vibe upside down so it rests on his balls for a unique feeling during intercourse or other activities. If it is guy-on-guy action that that you are having, keeping the vibe on the underside of the "driver's" penis can be a great feeling on the perineum of his partner. No dick in the room? Vibrating cockrings can be used on dildos or even some vibes to double your pleasure!

* Women often ask if the tight ring is uncomfortable for guys. For all reports, for the most park folks like that feel and as one of our customers said, "it’s like getting a hug from your favorite person, but on your cock."

Rise & Shine Cockring from Lelo $59

Masturbation sleeves

Designed for peni-owners to pleasure themselves, masturbation sleeves can also be a great addition to your repertoire with a partner. Stretchy tubes made of various materials, these are usually hiding lots of nubs, ridges or tingly bits inside that can take your handjob or blowjob for nice to NIIIIICE.

Use plenty of lube (flavored if you are going to be tasting him) and go to town! If you are performing fellatio, the sleeve is a great trick to give your jaw a break. And if you are giving your lover a handjob, the sleeve will keep the sensation varied and exciting. Add a blindfold before you slip it on and I bet you'll get a great reaction from him.

Fleshlight STU $76

Whatever you do, remember that sex toys are designed to make sex more fun for everyone, so try not to be intimidated if your partner whips one our or wants to experiment with one. The more the merrier!

Searah Deysach is owner of Early to Bed. She's been committed to informing Chicago about sex and love for over a decade. She's written for and been featured in numerous publications on the topic from Chicago Now to WBEZ, MsBehaved, Chicago Reader and beyond. She also lectures frequently on topics related to sex and sexuality. Follow Searah on Twitter as @EarlyToBed, Subscribe on Facebook and follow her blogs on the Early to Bed blog. Also check out her blog on screwy's sex toys amply named, Searah's Musem of Screwy Sex Toys blog.

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Do Expensive Toys = Better Orgasms?

Preparing for #SexToyTuesday, we're thinking about toys and how to best use them. Here at GetLusty, we love talking about toys. This is a guest post from Searah Deysach from Early to Bed Chicago. Because it's Orgasm October, we're thinking about everything that vibrates & makes us climax!

* * *

A high-end, rechargeable, silicone vibrator is a beautiful thing. Toys made by Fun Factory, JeJoue, LELO, We-Vibe and others are gorgeous, safe toys that come with longer warranties and some have unique functions than less-pricy toys. We, of course, love LELO, as you can probably tell.

And there is good reason to splurge for these items. The materials are super safe, they last longer, and in many cases are produced in a more ethical manner than “mainstream” toys.

But that said, not everyone has $100 to spend on a sex toy (or wants to spend that much) and I think folks sometimes wonder if they are missing out on “better sex” just because they opted for a $16 vibe. Especially if you're just starting out with sex toys, it's great to start off with something more simple and work your way up.

Starting off? Go simple

Many folks can have just as fantastic a time with a $10 Silver Bullet (or $20 3-speed duckie) as they can with a high-end piece. Yes, the silver bullet is made cheaply in China and won’t last forever, but the vibrations it provides are freaking awesome and well worth the price of a movie ticket.

The hard plastic it is made of is known to be a safe material and transmits vibrations really well. And there are a lot of vibes in the $20-$40 range that have great functions, are made of safe materials and can provide anyone with orgasms for just pennies apiece!

For dildos, it's about the experience
 

When it comes to dildos, there are fewer choices of non-silicone materials that are body-safe. Silicone toys are getting fancier and more expensive, but there are also plenty of affordable options.

What you are looking for size, texture and shape-wise, so there is usually more than one option at various prices. And like a penis on a live human, a lot of penetrative sex has to do with how the tool is used, who is using it and how you feel about the whole experience.

So yes, luxury items are well worth their price. But if you're a newbie, try out different pieces and feel out what you like before making a significant investment. Your sexual pleasure is definitely worth the purchase.

Want more info on the orgasm? Of course. It's Orgasm October!

Other articles on orgasms:

• Win a Sqweel 2 by October 15th
• Are you not orgasming? Dr. Dick answers why you might not be able to get there
• Ladies! Multiple orgasm 101
• Another one for the ladies! Clitoral orgasm 101
• True or False of Orgasms

Searah Deysach will guest post occasionally for GetLusty. We're very excited to be organizing events with Early to Bed which we'll also be featuring in the coming months.

Searah Deysach is owner of Early to Bed. She's been committed to informing Chicago about sex and love for over a decade. She's written for and been featured in numerous publications on the topic from Chicago Now to WBEZ, MsBehaved, Chicago Reader and beyond. She also lectures frequently on topics related to sex and sexuality. Follow Searah on Twitter as @EarlyToBed, Subscribe on Facebook and follow her blogs on the Early to Bed Blog.

Comments or questions? Please include them below or get in touch with us at reply@getlusty.com.

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3 Books to Lust Over

OK, besides the Fifty Shades of Grey, what are some other steamy and informative pieces to put your mind to use? Well! We met Lidia-Anain Bjorkquist at CatalystCon last week. Of course, we wanted to share her great work, including SexLoveJoy.

She loves books so we had to share her love and inspiration, below are just a small sample of the wonderful books she recommends and why.

Looking for fall reading? Check out these lusty books below! Thanks Lidia for these awesome book recommendations.

* * *

It is a fact that I read a lot. I really do have a lust for reading and consuming books. It is also a fact that my favorite season for retreating into books for escape, healing, learning, and all things revitalization is Fall. My Amazon wishlist of books is currently filled with over five hundred books that have been asking to come home to me.

Yes, they beg me daily as I look through the wishlist seeing which one’s cry is the loudest and new releases usually don’t cry loud enough. But this year there are so many great books coming out in September that I am feeling torn. Books that are coming out in September have made their way to the very top of my list; cannot wait to get my hands on these new releases and I haven’t even gotten through my new August read.

I am private about my collection of books but because these because all seem like great reads, I’ve decided to share (a shortened version of) my Fall reading list with you. It might sound silly but it makes me feel extremely vulnerable to share this list publicly.

List is in the order that I will be reading them.

1) The Erotic
2) Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities
3) Hot and Fast: Sexy, Spontaneous Quickies for Passionate Orgasms

Book #1

Title: The Erotic

Written by: Lou Andreas-Salomé

Book Description

Lou Andreas-Salomé may seem to be a figure remote from us, one belonging to a pre-1914 Europe, but in many ways, she is our contemporary. She travelled in a highly romantic world as socialite, sociologist, and author. She was part of Georg Simmel’s salon, the most exclusive in Berlin, frequented by elusive poet Stefan Georg, dramatist Paul Ernst, social theorist and polymath Max Weber, and Georg Lukács, among others.

Salomé’s unique contribution to the erotic was that she argued sexual difference ran deeper than economics, and equality—the politics of Marx and the ideals of the French Revolution. For Salomé, to think about women and their erotic nature, you must start with their biological and psychological difference, not their economic situation.

Salomé was an outstanding theorist. Her books on Nietzsche and on Rilke are major studies. The field of psychoanalysis would not have developed in the way it did without Lou Andreas-Salomé. We cannot understand Freud’s “rationalism” or his anti-religious sensibility without Salomé’s writings. This new English translation is an essential text of psychoanalysis, one that shaped the very conception of the field.

Why I want to read it

Lou Andreas-Salomé is a woman that I consider an icon and that I highly admire because of her intelligence. She was a brave woman that lived and loved as she pleased in a time when this wasn’t acceptable for women to do. While many admire Anaïs Nin, I choose to admire the woman that Anaïs admired and I think she wished she could have been.

If you love Anaïs Nin then you should become familiar with Lou Andreas-Salomé due to one simple fact: All-things-Lou Andreas-Salomé > All-things-Anaïs Nin.

Book #2

Title

Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities

Written by: Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams

Book Description

Whether you’re a trembling novice or a jaded expert, there’s always something new to be discovered in the endlessly changing, complex and titillating world of kink. While there are plenty of other books out there that explain how to give a spanking or tie a half-hitch, Playing Well With Others is the first book that explains kink *culture* — the munches, parties, leather bars, conferences, workshops, fetish nights, exploratoriums and all the other gatherings of kinksters that turn BDSM and leather from a bedroom predilection to a lifestyle and a community.

You’ll learn to:

* Examine your own motivations, needs, wants and desires
* Ease your way into established communities
* Understand etiquette in different adventurous sex communities
* Familiarize yourself with the many types of events available to you
* Care for your relationships as you explore new territory
* Negotiate for play and aftercare
* Go back to the “world at large” without ruffling feathers
* …and, of course, answer the all-important question: What do you wear?! The team of Harrington and Williams offers 30-plus years of experience in diverse kink communities: top, bottom and switch; gay, bi and straight; female, male and trans; white and POC. Both former titleholders and international educators, they are an unbeatable pair of “sexual sherpas” with an inimitable voice and a great deal of wisdom. Playing Well With Others is an unprecedented and essential guidebook for anyone who wants to explore or understand the “community” aspect of the kink lifestyle.

Why I want to read it

I’ve heard Mollena Williams tell a couple of stories at Bawdy Storytelling and she blew me away with her storytelling. As a sex educator I like to stay up on what is written about sexuality by other sex educators, especially if it is a topic that I am digging deeper into in my personal life as well.

Book #3

Title

Hot and Fast: Sexy, Spontaneous Quickies for Passionate Orgasms

Written by: Megan Andelloux

Book Description

Megan Andelloux worked for nine years as a youth-focused sexuality educator in NY, RI, CT, and NJ before bringing her love for teaching at a locally run feminist sex-shop in Providence, RI.

She is a regular contributor for various media sources, a sexuality consultant for medical organizations, and a contributing author in the books “We Got Issue: A Feminist Response to Cultural Attitudes On Feminism” and “Sex and Society”. She lectures internationally at colleges, universities, medical schools, and sexuality institutions on issues surrounding sexual pleasure, sexual health, politics, and erotic justice.

Why I want to read it

Simply because it was written by Megan Andelloux. I am definitely a fan of her work and as a sex educator I want to pickup as many tips, tricks and techniques that I can pass on to clients and readers.

This post was cross-posted originally from SexLoveJoy.

This is a post from Lidia-Anain Bjorkquist, the woman behind sexlovejoy.com.

Lidia is a SFSI certified sex educator who helps her clients to cultivate healthy sex lives and mindful relationships that empower them to thrive both in and out of the bedroom. She believes that shameless exploration and expression of sexuality, love and pleasure are the keys to creating lasting joy. Find her on Facebook and Twitter @SexLoveJoy.

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