Why Monogamy is Really Sexy

We've had a lot of articles on polyamory lately. We started off with polyamory in the deep end. First, we addressed Technogeisha's story of polyswinging. We asked, "Is my relationship ready for polyamory?". Finally, we helped define, "What is polyamory, anyway?" a mini guide for the polyamory newbie.

Pepper Mint of FreakSexual even podcasted with our Erica Grigg about polyamory & how mongomous couples can learn from polyamorists. With so much polyamory talk going on, we thought we needed to give more love to monogamy! We believe in the power of monogamy. Traditional relationships between two people are one's that fit us best. But maybe that's just because we're so busy we just don't have time to start dating again. In either case, Eric Amaranth is back to discuss the advantages that come with being in a monogamous relationship.

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True, you only get to have sex with one person

Everyone knows the weaknesses of monogamy: same partner, no other partners to experience sex with, the loss of enjoying the unique little strengths that given lovers will have in bed for you or when you do things to them.  However, it’s very helpful to be aware of monogamy’s strengths. Ones that are under-utilized by most.

But then again, you get to have sex with one person! 

The first strength is housed within what most consider to be its biggest shortfall: you only get to have sex with one person.

The biggest disadvantage to having multiple partners is you only see them when your schedule permits. Every time you have hot sex, you often go to your routine sex methods. Due to the separation you feel while apart, when you two get together you go to the 'favorite tracks,' so to speak. Discovering new sexy things is always possible. However, if you want to do something with them that’s more advanced and requires practice and time, working on that doesn’t get done because of the aforementioned conditions. It is harder to grow and develop your sex life together.

Enjoy your shared life together; just you two

The opposite is true for monogamous couples. Especially the ones that live together: because you’re together all the time and have much more sexual access to one another. This is where the brain will start to whine for novelty a bit louder. A good answer to that pang comes in the form of spending more time practicing sex together. Practicing to improve your sexual skills and your communication will give you unique sexual experiences and the orgasms to go with them.

Every sex session you have with your partner doesn’t have to be “flow sex,” as it has been called. With more time together you can choose to have “training sex,” sessions that are fun and hot in a different kind of way. Hot, often at the precise moment when it goes from experimentation, to the experience working and feeling and/or looking and sounding incredible.

In time, you can develop a sexy anticipation of that 'eureka' moment due to having a more sophisticated approach to a shared sex life. Because that’s what monogamy is. A shared life. The decisions the two of you make about your sex life profoundly affect the other because there is no leaving to go to someone else. The concept of two becoming one in marriage proceedings is quite accurate in this case, so be aware of this when making decisions together about your one sex life together.

Great sex and affectionate touch is the best vacation you ever had condensed down into anywhere from less than five minutes to hours or whole weekends long. Having access to that in one’s life is a huge reason to keep on keeping on and leave behind the feeling that all you have to live for is your career, perhaps parenting, or other necessaries.

Check out the original post at Sex Life Coach NYC.

Eric Amaranth is a sex life coach, working in NYC and globally via video conference, who specializes in women’s and men’s sexuality, basic to advanced sex skills, and high-end sex education. Individuals and couples are guided toward the relationship, intimacy, and sexual enjoyment goals they desire most.

Amaranth believes that for the majority of people, appreciation of ourselves and our romantic partners is one of the best sustainable resources we have to continuously renew attraction, maintain respect, and stay in love with our partners. This bedrock of deep appreciation is founded and reinforced by the combination of loving relationship skills with breathtaking sexual skills. Follow Eric on Twitter @Eric_Amaranth.