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The Male Multi-Orgasm: Does It Really Exist?


Recently, GetLusty's SugarCunt shared some incredible wisdom on the art of "moregasms" for women in her Mini-Guide to Multiple Orgasms for Women. Because our focus at GetLusty is to end boring sex for couples, we wanted to make sure our Lusty men don’t feel left out. Although male multiple orgasms are often thought of as something only a small percentage of men are able to achieve, our “hands-on” research tells us otherwise. Becoming a multi-orgasmic man definitely takes some focus, but the process is pleasurable and the benefits are well worth the effort. If you are not currently experiencing one or more delectable orgasms that vibrate through the very fiber of your being, then read on! GetLusty’s Joy Nelson is about to help you out and share the top secrets from her book, The Guy’s Guide to Multiple Orgasms!

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Take a deep, sexy time out

First of all, let’s get the hard stuff out of the way (no pun intended). It is a fairly well-known fact that most of us are goal oriented, which can potentially put a lot of stress on our system. Not good. If you're a goal-oriented person that reads this article and wants to get down to the nitty-gritty and set a solid deadline, you are going to fail. Instead, take a deep breath, go with the flow, draw on your inner strength and approach this process with passion. This is the first step to joining the ranks of multi-orgasmic men.

Connect with your sexual energy

Through my sex coaching and intimacy practice, I work with couples and individuals from all walks of life. When I first mention the phrase “sexual energy”, I see some people’s eyes become distant. They simply don’t get what I mean. However, as we move through a few exercises focused on connecting with their sexual energy, a shift occurs. As they begin to feel their own sexual energy and the associated pleasure, it’s like a light bulb goes off in their head. All of a sudden, they realize they have been seriously missing out. If you are acquainted with your sexual energy, that’s awesome! If you need some guidance, try this simple exercise. Feeling is believing.

To begin connecting with your sexual energy, sit in a comfortable position and begin to feel your breath as it enters and exits your body. Mentally focus on something that you already know turns you on. Maybe it’s your naked lover, or possibly it’s just a random erotic thought that enters your mind. With your mind focused on your desire, continue breathing deeply. Now, pay attention to how you feel on a sexual level. Uh-huh, that turned on feeling we all experience when we’re truly aroused is what I’m talkin’ about. There you go! You're connecting with your sexual energy! Next step.

Flex your way to more pleasure

Now that you have begun to connect with your sexual energy, let’s take your multi-orgasmic practice one step further. There’s a simple, yet highly effective exercise that is key for achieving multiple orgasms and non-ejaculatory orgasms: toning and strengthening the pelvic floor muscles through flexing your PC muscles, commonly referred to as a Kegel exercise. If you've heard this term before, you may think that Kegel exercises are only for women. Not so. Men can also benefit a great deal from Kegel exercises.

How to do kegels for men:

#1 Go to the restroom. Unbuckle your belt, unzip your fly, and pull out your “manhood”.

#2 Take the about-to-pee stance—penis exposed, hips thrust forward—and slowly begin to pee.

#3 Stop Peeing! Start peeing. Stop peeing. Start peeing. Stop peeing.

#4 The muscles used to stop the flow of urine are the muscles you're looking for. Can't flex them? Don’t fret; you’ll get it.

When you have mastered kegels, you should either see or feel your testicles jiggling or raising in response as you do them. Once you identify the muscles used to stop your urine flow, you can do your Kegels while sitting, standing, or lying down. According to a study conducted by the San Francisco Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, “Conclusions supported the simple fact that well-toned pelvic muscles, including the PC muscle, improve sexual control and play a key part in achieving orgasm.” While doing kegels, you are toning your PC muscles, with the intention of improving your sexual control.

Learn orgasm control

A handful of men are naturally multi-orgasmic, but for most, the key is learning to truly understand what triggers their orgasm and then controlling when and if they orgasm. You can achieve this by paying attention to how your body feels just before you experience orgasm, while you are having an orgasm and just after you finish your orgasm. The process looks something like this:

#1 Find a quiet space at a time when you are not likely to be interrupted.

#2 Allow your mind to focus on arousal.

#3 As you enter a state of arousal, begin self-loving (masturbating).

#4 While you are masturbating focus on your bodily sensations.

#5 Pay close attention for signs of your approaching orgasm.

#6 As you feel your orgasm approaching, slow down or completely stop stimulating yourself.

#7 Take a few deep breaths and relax the muscles in your body.

#8 When you regain control over your ejaculation, continue masturbating.

#9 The next time you feel your orgasm approach, if you like, you may ejaculate.

#10 If you choose to ejaculate, take notice of how intense your orgasm is — you may be pleasantly surprised.

While you are experimenting with becoming a multi-orgasmic man, it’s important that you have fun and give yourself permission to focus on your pleasure. By practicing these simple techniques, you’ll be well on your way to increasing your pleasure and experiencing multiple orgasms. Take it from a woman whose lover is a multi-orgasmic man; learning how to control your orgasms is one of the best things you can do to enhance your sex life.


Beyond being a mama and a monogamous slut, Joy Nelson is an author, intimacy coach and pleasure activist. She lives in an eclectic community on Salt Spring Island, BC. Joy shares her adventures in sensual living on her blog, Tantrachick.com. When Joy is not teaching folks how to experience joyous sex and deeper intimacy, she is most likely writing in the nude or dancing ecstatically. She is a woman who truly follows her bliss. Find Joy on Twitter @tantrachick, Facebook and on her website ThePleasureActivist.com. Connect with joy@thepleasureactivist.com.

Squirting 201: Learning how



In the previous article about Squirting, we learned that female ejaculation is still as mystifying as ever. The truth is: yes, it is possible to squirt, but first let's talk you through the sensations of squirting versus coming. Knowing the difference is essential if you want to teach yourself this amazing technique. Marian Sanchez enlightens us a bit more on the elusive art of squirting.


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Have you ever been totally grossed out by the public toilets available and told yourself you will just go once you get home? Have you found yourself doing a little dance, a little song, something, anything to keep you from realizing the sharpness of a full bladder? You are probably wondering what this has to do with what the title suggests. Well, that full bladder feeling is nearly the same as the pressure to ejaculate. You almost have to push a bit (think of a time you were too timid to pee and you had to force or push yourself to go) and once you push, the rush to go becomes exhilarating — so good it gives you goosebumps. You have to understand, coming is generally a gradual burn that builds in intensity until you are swept up and washed away with ecstasy. Squirting can develop in the same manner but the sensations are more livid, fiery and direct. In short, if an orgasm takes you high, squirting takes you forward.

How I taught myself


My first experience with female ejaculation happened during a getaway with my husband. We weren't making squirting a goal, it just happened, and it was the most megaton-awesome sex experience ever. I didn't just come, I exploded with this wild range of expressions, none of which made sense because it was so mindbogglingly intense. After that experience, I had to endure it again.

In time, I found that the maneuvering to squirt was quite similar to masturbating until orgasm. Certain parts of my body felt much more sensitive to my touch than others, so I would alternate where I'd place my hands on myself and how much pressure to use. When I felt eager enough to fixate on my goal (to squirt), I would focus on one side of my clit and rub generously. The sensation would build fast, and I would focus on not letting myself come. The sensation that would arise is similar to the urge to pee. I would focus on this urge, and with the electric feeling growing directly behind my clitoris (it feels white-hot and fiery), I would push with my hips, and boom! The immense pleasures of squirting continue as you expel, and afterwards, when you are gently falling back to earth, it is the most relaxing after-sex-moment ever.



Now, some women don't squirt a lot, others do. Depending on the position, you or your partner can witness it. What about the texture of female ejaculation? For me, I've noticed a squirt is a much thinner consistency of ejaculation and coming is usually a milkier thicker lubricant. It tends to vary from person to person. Sometimes you can tell by scent, other times by the sensation of your genitalia. When you are comfortable, you can introduce squirting to your partner. By your new found understanding of what pleases you, you can guide them to create magical electric endings to some of your favorite positions.

 I hope this article has been helpful. 
Cheers to beautiful sex!

This article was fashioned by GetLusty writer Marian Sanchez. Marian has many passions, writing being the oldest for her. When she isn't working on articles for GetLusty, she's with her amazing family and her five-cat herd. She enjoys all kinds of movies and tv, spending time with wonderful friends, going to Chicago metal shows and finding humor in everyday life. She has a horrible habit of wanting to learn all kinds of new things and going to different places. When it comes to sex, Christina has a raunchy good mouth and an open mind (which pleases her husband immensely).

Condoms You'll Love: Lucky Bloke

Amazing sex with condoms? Yes! We came across this amazing condom company, and we want all of our lusty readers to know about them. Lucky Bloke is an online business that allows shoppers to sample condoms from several different brands. The site also helps you find the perfect fit too. The best part – a portion of sales goes to charity.

Lucky Bloke

At Lucky Bloke strong, tangible commitment to positive social change (aka loving the world) is at the core of everything we do.

They offer two great sites depending on your safer sex needs:

At theCondomReview.com you'll find candid, independent reviews of over 70 top international condom styles. Each condom features a concise product description and “pro tips” for condom use. Drawing on thousands of participant responses, our condom reviews feature an unparalleled, definitive consumer resource.

Lucky Bloke found that 97% of reviewers felt the act of condom exploration spiced up their sex life!


Using their Filter Buttons and dynamic Search Field you can sort and browse the exact products that best match your personal specifications, curated for your convenience, from the top rated condoms (and lubes) worldwide. Choose from ribbed, ultra thin, pleasure shaped, studded, desensitizing, colors and flavors.

You can try the very best condoms the world has to offer without having to buy an entire box! One of this one, two of those...another of that one.

Explore the thinnest condoms available from Japan; a tasty line of vegan and organic flavored condoms from Australia; condoms that vary from glow-in-the-dark to ribbed and studded from North America; as well as the very best from Europe. There are even condoms that radically enhance pleasure with arousal  lubricants.

They make it easy to test out different products by offering ten-condom sampler. The top rated condoms selected by our safe sex connoisseurs start at just $6.99.

Once you've found the condoms you love, head on over to our other site LuckyBloke.com. There you'll receive special pricing when you purchase 6 or more condoms. Also, we offer both one-time and recurring monthly purchases. What could be more convenient than having your über sexy, international condoms discreetly delivered monthly?

Lucky Bloke offers you the very best condoms from around the world and donates 10% of their sales to the charities and causes of your choice. Some causes you can help contribute to are the It Gets Better Project and UNICEF.

Lucky Bloke is pioneering a new way for you to think about pleasure, safety and how to buy the very best condoms. Follow them on twitter @theLuckyBloke, and on Facebook. Also check out their PinterestTumblr, and Google +.

Me First! Interdependent Relationships


What kind of relationship are you in? Maybe you've never even considered your role. Whether you are dependent, co-dependent, or interdependent, all relationships need balance and communication. Monique Mitchell delves into the meaning of interdependency and how to make it work for you.

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Do you compromise your own happiness to make other people in your life happy? Do you believe that your significant other is what makes your life complete? If you answered “no” to those questions, then you may be in, or open to the idea of, an interdependent relationship. Several studies, including those conducted at Northwestern University and Harvard University, indicate that interdependent relationships, while uncommon, is the epitome of a balanced relationship. In this type of a union, each person understands that “me” is equally as important as “us”. Nonetheless, once each person has developed a sense of personal maturity, both conclude that neither person will take on the entire financial or emotional burden of the relationship.

Dependency roles

In all types of relationships there are some people who are dependent, independent, co-dependent and interdependent. Firstly, the dependent person in a relationship is someone who spends much of his or her time deciphering who assumes responsibility of whom. The independent person in a relationship, on the other hand, tends to spend much of his or her time away from the other person, while the co-dependent person usually puts aside his or her own well-being to accommodate a significant other. And lastly, there's the interdependent person—a person who does not display neediness and who does not assume total power in the relationship.

Researchers believe that being responsible for your own identity, security, and freedom are beneficial to maintaining a successful interdependent relationship. While this type of couple has to focus on separate wants and needs, a simultaneous commitment to what is best for both partners is essential. Forming the relationship with a person who is at the same stage of personal maturity, while fostering clarity and a true commitment to partnership, are additional key elements to this sort of relationship.

Some celebrity couples also participate in being interdependent. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are a great example, due to both maintaining successful careers and equally taking responsibility of their relationship and family life.

Building a strong union

Understand that while the ideals of interdependent relationships focus on personal growth and shared responsibility, it would be difficult to withhold some exchange of power. Couples, in general, have to trust one another, regardless of the amount of responsibility one or both may shoulder. Interdependence is developed through a shared dedication to self-improvement, open communication and honoring personal boundaries. Therefore, interdependent couples have to work together to build a union that is greater than the sum of its parts.

What couples like Angelina and Brad appear to do successfully is share a mutual respect for one another. This level of appreciation enables each person to work on personal goals and issues. Make sure to embrace what is important to the other partner and clarify expectations. Keep commitments as each person's self-awareness and self-esteem continues to evolve.

Communication

Every couple specifies its own set of rules for their relationship—simply put, what works for one couple may not work for another. So, prioritize the things that will help keep your relationship strong. Communicate, early in your partnership, individual values and individual definitions of what is needed for your relationship to work. Listen for any shared set of emotional, economical and moral principles. Having beliefs and intentions in common, while also establishing precise roles and setting guidelines that both people will be held accountable for, will strengthen the success of the interdependency in your relationship.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's (CDC) 2006-2010 National Survey of Family Growth, the probability of a first marriage lasting at least 10 years is between 68% and 70%, while a first marriage lasting at least 20 years is between 52% and 56%. The CDC's survey also indicates that educational attainment, employment status and premarital cohabitation are likely factors, in influencing a divorce or separation. Whether or not your interdependent partnership results in matrimony, the same standards of commitment to the relationship and cultivating self-identity still apply.

Being on the same accord, regarding life-changing decisions, is a must. The aforementioned factors of divorce and separation have to be established prior to the relationship. And like every other element in an interdependent relationship, both parties have to agree upon any transitions made, before and after the relationship has begun. The couple has to accept that change is a reciprocal obligation. Both partners' willingness to change, whether for individual or shared reasons, is for the betterment of the relationship. And the couple's investment in making positive changes will result in the relationship being satisfying and healthy.

Relationship prosperity

Undoubtedly, relationships are a challenge. By understanding that true love does not always conquer all, your 'happily ever after' journey will not be as rocky and far-fetched. Expecting for your mate to rescue you, rather than allowing him or her to support you and your plans for the future, will cause disparity over harmony. Therefore, devoting time and energy into your own improvement will add prosperity to your relationship. Remember that your issues are your own to work through. If you choose a mate wisely, you will be afforded the compassion and patience that you need. Several studies report that equality in a relationship is a factor in successful relationships. If you and your significant other can handle being on the same playing field, then interdependency is what will work best for the two of you.

Monique Mitchell is a general article writer with a professional background in nearly everything. A native, and current resident, of Chicago, Monique has covered topics ranging from relationships and entertainment to technology and post-graduation career tips. Now focusing more on dating and relationship blogging, Monique aims to inform readers on issues around the emotional and sexual health of people in the LGBTQ community. In her spare time, Monique enjoys cooking, reading, and watching romantic comedies and "Trash TV".

Why You Absolutely Must Visit Smitten Kitten!

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