The Male Multi-Orgasm: Does It Really Exist?

Recently, GetLusty's SugarCunt shared some incredible wisdom on the art of "moregasms" for women in her Mini-Guide to Multiple Orgasms for Women. Because our focus at GetLusty is to end boring sex for couples, we wanted to make sure our Lusty men don’t feel left out. Although male multiple orgasms are often thought of as something only a small percentage of men are able to achieve, our “hands-on” research tells us otherwise. Becoming a multi-orgasmic man definitely takes some focus, but the process is pleasurable and the benefits are well worth the effort. If you are not currently experiencing one or more delectable orgasms that vibrate through the very fiber of your being, then read on! GetLusty’s Joy Nelson is about to help you out and share the top secrets from her book, The Guy’s Guide to Multiple Orgasms!

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Take a deep, sexy time out

First of all, let’s get the hard stuff out of the way (no pun intended). It is a fairly well-known fact that most of us are goal oriented, which can potentially put a lot of stress on our system. Not good. If you're a goal-oriented person that reads this article and wants to get down to the nitty-gritty and set a solid deadline, you are going to fail. Instead, take a deep breath, go with the flow, draw on your inner strength and approach this process with passion. This is the first step to joining the ranks of multi-orgasmic men.

Connect with your sexual energy

Through my sex coaching and intimacy practice, I work with couples and individuals from all walks of life. When I first mention the phrase “sexual energy”, I see some people’s eyes become distant. They simply don’t get what I mean. However, as we move through a few exercises focused on connecting with their sexual energy, a shift occurs. As they begin to feel their own sexual energy and the associated pleasure, it’s like a light bulb goes off in their head. All of a sudden, they realize they have been seriously missing out. If you are acquainted with your sexual energy, that’s awesome! If you need some guidance, try this simple exercise. Feeling is believing.

To begin connecting with your sexual energy, sit in a comfortable position and begin to feel your breath as it enters and exits your body. Mentally focus on something that you already know turns you on. Maybe it’s your naked lover, or possibly it’s just a random erotic thought that enters your mind. With your mind focused on your desire, continue breathing deeply. Now, pay attention to how you feel on a sexual level. Uh-huh, that turned on feeling we all experience when we’re truly aroused is what I’m talkin’ about. There you go! You're connecting with your sexual energy! Next step.

Flex your way to more pleasure

Now that you have begun to connect with your sexual energy, let’s take your multi-orgasmic practice one step further. There’s a simple, yet highly effective exercise that is key for achieving multiple orgasms and non-ejaculatory orgasms: toning and strengthening the pelvic floor muscles through flexing your PC muscles, commonly referred to as a Kegel exercise. If you've heard this term before, you may think that Kegel exercises are only for women. Not so. Men can also benefit a great deal from Kegel exercises.

How to do kegels for men:

#1 Go to the restroom. Unbuckle your belt, unzip your fly, and pull out your “manhood”.

#2 Take the about-to-pee stance—penis exposed, hips thrust forward—and slowly begin to pee.

#3 Stop Peeing! Start peeing. Stop peeing. Start peeing. Stop peeing.

#4 The muscles used to stop the flow of urine are the muscles you're looking for. Can't flex them? Don’t fret; you’ll get it.

When you have mastered kegels, you should either see or feel your testicles jiggling or raising in response as you do them. Once you identify the muscles used to stop your urine flow, you can do your Kegels while sitting, standing, or lying down. According to a study conducted by the San Francisco Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, “Conclusions supported the simple fact that well-toned pelvic muscles, including the PC muscle, improve sexual control and play a key part in achieving orgasm.” While doing kegels, you are toning your PC muscles, with the intention of improving your sexual control.

Learn orgasm control

A handful of men are naturally multi-orgasmic, but for most, the key is learning to truly understand what triggers their orgasm and then controlling when and if they orgasm. You can achieve this by paying attention to how your body feels just before you experience orgasm, while you are having an orgasm and just after you finish your orgasm. The process looks something like this:

#1 Find a quiet space at a time when you are not likely to be interrupted.

#2 Allow your mind to focus on arousal.

#3 As you enter a state of arousal, begin self-loving (masturbating).

#4 While you are masturbating focus on your bodily sensations.

#5 Pay close attention for signs of your approaching orgasm.

#6 As you feel your orgasm approaching, slow down or completely stop stimulating yourself.

#7 Take a few deep breaths and relax the muscles in your body.

#8 When you regain control over your ejaculation, continue masturbating.

#9 The next time you feel your orgasm approach, if you like, you may ejaculate.

#10 If you choose to ejaculate, take notice of how intense your orgasm is — you may be pleasantly surprised.

While you are experimenting with becoming a multi-orgasmic man, it’s important that you have fun and give yourself permission to focus on your pleasure. By practicing these simple techniques, you’ll be well on your way to increasing your pleasure and experiencing multiple orgasms. Take it from a woman whose lover is a multi-orgasmic man; learning how to control your orgasms is one of the best things you can do to enhance your sex life.


Beyond being a mama and a monogamous slut, Joy Nelson is an author, intimacy coach and pleasure activist. She lives in an eclectic community on Salt Spring Island, BC. Joy shares her adventures in sensual living on her blog, Tantrachick.com. When Joy is not teaching folks how to experience joyous sex and deeper intimacy, she is most likely writing in the nude or dancing ecstatically. She is a woman who truly follows her bliss. Find Joy on Twitter @tantrachick, Facebook and on her website ThePleasureActivist.com. Connect with joy@thepleasureactivist.com.

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Female Multiple Orgasm 101: a Ladies Mini-Guide

Ladies! Let’s talk about multiple orgasms. You’ve probably heard other women talk about them in reverent, clandestine tones, as if having multiple orgasms is equivalent to being a part of the Illuminati. Oh curious reader, allow me to indoctrinate you. There’s no rite of initiation, there’s no secret handshake, and vaginas only kind of secretly rule the world. The truth of the matter is that they’re my bread and butter, and my life would be radically different without the ability to have them. They make me feel good, and inducing them makes my partner feel good. There is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t have more than one orgasm if you want, and if you keep reading, you’re going to know multiple orgasms, A to Z. GetLusty's SugarCunt sheds some light on the mysterious Multiple Orgasm.

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Multiple orgasms are not what you think

Multiple orgasms do not follow a single model. Don’t think that for multiple orgasms to “count”, they have to occur within seconds of one another. For some people, multiple orgasms occur when they experience a strong climax, and then enjoy successive aftershocks as their autonomic reflexes “bounce off” the first orgasm. For others, multiple orgasms occur with short breaks in between; Betty Dodson, of dodsonandross.com, compares this model to sneezing multiple times – there’s a little buildup between each one.

In Express Milaukee, Laura Anne Stuart, MPH clearly defines multiple orgasms as successive orgasms that take place without reaching the “resolution” phase of the human sexual response model. In Masters and Johnson’s model of human sexual response, the four phases are excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. If you have multiple orgasms, your orgasm doesn’t resolve. Instead, you return to the plateau stage and get to catapult blissfully back into orgasm.

According to Dr. Laura Berman, men have a refractory period – a time in which they may be unable to get another erection or have another orgasm, but women do not. Women might need a break between orgasms because of clit sensitivity, but that’s different from a refractory period. A woman’s body is still capable of having more orgasms.

Why aren’t more people having multiple Os?

The common belief is that almost all women are capable of having multiple orgasms. According to Dr. Rachel Abrams there are few conditions that may prevent it, such as pelvic surgery or injury, and severe chronic illness. Short of those negating factors, why aren’t more women having more orgasms?

Some of you may not have heard about multiple orgasms until you read this article. Some women may have read about it in Redbook or Cosmo, but didn't think that their partners would be accommodating. Some women feel like having more than one orgasm is greedy. Many women probably think that they just aren’t capable of it. Whatever the hang-up is, you can overcome it.

Want to start having multiple orgasms?

First things first: Know what you like. If you’re barely getting to one orgasm, maybe the technique being used isn’t what you need to get off. Try something new! Masturbation is one of the best ways to figure out what really gets you off, and it’s also the best place to start trying to have more than one orgasm. Masturbation ensures that your first attempts will take place in a low-pressure environment, and if you simply can’t make it to two or beyond, you can always try again later without feeling like you’ve disappointed anyone. Once you figure out what gets you past the first orgasm, you can share the knowledge with your partner to remove some of the guesswork.

Get in the mood and do things that encourage an intense orgasm. Not sure how to take your orgasms to the next level? 5 ways to orgasm more intensely has you covered. Some other words of advice: Make sure that you’ve been thoroughly aroused before you attempt to attain your first orgasm. If need be, tease yourself a little by approaching orgasm, then backing off several times, which will increase the sexual tension in your body. If you have an earth-shaking first orgasm, you may have a chance to reap the benefits of those bouncing autonomic reflexes.

Contract your pubococcygeus muscle (PC muscle). Rhythmic contractions can herald and enhance an orgasm, and a strong pelvic floor can assist you in your attempt to have multiple orgasms. Kegel exercises will help strengthen your pelvic floor and make controlling these contractions much easier, so give them a try.

If your clit tends to become oversensitive, back off of it and try stimulating some other part of your body while keeping yourself in the moment by flexing your PC muscle, rocking your hips, and breathing. You may only have to leave your clit alone for a few seconds before you’re back in the game.

Don’t obsess over it

Yes, you should keep in mind that you aren’t going to quit once you’ve had your first orgasm, but don’t be single-minded about having more than one; you’ll make yourself anxious and it will detract from your arousal. Don’t think that the sexual episode is failed if you don’t have multiples. There’s nothing wrong with having – or preferring – one orgasm. Every orgasm is an enjoyable achievement, so don’t take the one that you had for granted. You aren’t being graded, so have fun!

Sugarcunt is incorrigible. She was born with a vagina, identifies as gender-queer pansexual feminist, and embraces female pronouns. When she isn't playing video games, blogging, or reading, she spends her spare time trying to pioneer the art of dildo knitting. Lover of snark, cats, cephalopods, and baked goods, she lives with her boyfriend, three pets, and an army of sex toys in the mountains of North Carolina. She blogs about sex toys, sex-positivity, body-positivity, queer culture, gender, and kink at Sugarcunt Writes, and you can find her on twitter as @Sugarcunt.

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Ladies! 5 Ways to Orgasm More Intensely

We've written lots of articles on orgasms. We even dedicated October to Orgasms. about how to give intense orgasms. So what can be better than orgasming? Making those orgasms over the top. If you are already having great orgasms, here are a few steps you can take to make them even better. GetLusty staff writer, Milan Weasley reports.

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This article is very important for all the ladies out there. Have you ever been in a place where your orgasms aren't amazing? Try these ideas on for size! Without ado, 5 ways to orgasm more intensely.

#1 Kegels

Work out your kegel muscles. The stronger these muscles are, the more sensitive you will be vaginally, during intercourse. They increase circulation in your genital area. Your kegel muscles or pubococcygeus muscles (PC) include your clitoris, G-spot, and even some areas of your thighs. You can locate these muscles by squeezing to stop the flow of urination.

Empty your bladder and start to squeeze and hold these muscles. Squeezing in short pulses and longer intervals will strengthen the muscles. Remember don't preform these exercises while urinating. Repeatedly stoping the flow can cause reflux, and send urine back up your urethra. I recommend doing these exercises every time you finish using the bathroom. With discipline you can strengthen these muscles so much you may be able to orgasm by flexing them.

#2 Breathe

We love Kegels so much, we wrote an entire article on how to do Kegels, and also Kegel toys. Breathing brings more oxygen into your bloodstream. Consciously, controlling your breathing will immediately enhance your sexual experiences. Controlling your breathing soothes tension and brings more life and energy to your cells.

Panting promotes arousal and sexual excitability. Pant from your stomach, not your throat. Sometimes, this just happens involuntarily -- but make it a point to focus on your breathe. Breathing in through your mouth and out through your nose slows the build of erotic sensation. Curl your tongue or press it against the roof of your mouth. Breathe in and hold your breath. Exhale through your nose. It's also a cooling breath.

#3 Anticipate

Orgasms aren't all about the finish line. The journey is just as important. The more anticipation that is built up on the road to orgasm, the bigger the release. It slows and stretches things out. Either way you work this, both parties will have the chance to build anticipation. Tension orgasms are shorter and less intense. It involves holding your breath and squeezing/tensing your muscles. When you relax and make the road to orgasm last longer, the end will be a more intense, bigger, and longer release.

This anticipation doesn't begin and end in the bedroom. Send each other erotic pictures. Describe what you want in text messages. Set up a surprise homemade dinner or bubble bath to soak in. You can build anticipation during sex. Get to the brink of orgasm and switch positions. The tension will build up and it has to be released. That orgasmic release will get bigger the more you delay it.

#4 Explore

There are areas on a woman's body that are also sensitive before and during sex. In the lips, tongue, neck, and shoulders there are millions of nerve endings. They are very sensitive to touching and kissing. There are erogenous zones all over a woman's body. Trying new positions will up the pleasure. And even new locations. Having sex in 'dangerous' places or in thrill-seeking ways will release dopamine-which is also released during orgasm. So adding more increases the intensity. Even in a different room in your living space!

Let your partner whisper in your ears. The ears are a link straight to one of the body's most sensitive areas during stimulation, the brain. Gently blowing on the ears will send shivers down your spine. The neck is just as sensitive. Light kisses and bites will be just as exciting.

Your scalp is sensitive as well. Each strand of hair is attached to it by a nerve ending. Meaning there are thousands of opportunities to deliver more stimulation.

And during orgasm, let your partner gently pull your hair. Pulling your hair surprisingly releases endorphins, which will increase your orgasm.

#5 Relax

Your mind is the first thing to relax. Don't focus on delivering mind blowing orgasms. The pressure can be overwhelming. Especially if you aren't successful. Performance anxiety can exist in the bedroom and can lead to all types of problems. Relaxation is the solution to stress. The focus should be on your connection with your partner. Focus on the passion of your love and your attraction. Relaxation will make both of your bodies better able to orgasm.

You can have all the tricks in the world, but if your thoughts are elsewhere and you aren't relaxed, you won't be able to orgasm. Communication during sex can help with relaxing also. If you don't trust your partner, or vice versa, you won't be completely open. Keep the lines of communication open. Giving your body to your partner, includes giving your mind and trust just as much. Focus on the moment and not on other activities. We even have tips on staying in the moment sexually!


This is another wonderful post by GetLusty staff writer and lover of amazing orgasms, Milan Weasley. She's pretty amazing. In fact, Milan is one of GetLusty for Couples' first lesbian writers. (Ah! Dykes and dildos!) She spends her days procrastinating grad school and her nights procrastinating everything else. She enjoys writing, gogo dancing, sewing, pole dancing, and defending the Oxford comma.

Questions, comments or article ideas? Get in touch with Milan at milan@getlusty.com or on her Tumblr.

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Cunnilingus 201: Up the Ante with G-Spot Orgasms (NSFW)

There's more to cunnilingus than just the clitoris. We've demystified the clitoris, we've even gone all academic with our favorite books on g-spot orgasms and even books on cunnilingus. We've all heard of the mystical G-spot, but what and where is it? Can it happen during cunnilingus? Simply put: yes. GetLusty staff writer Milan Weasley shares her expansive, sex positive wisdom and love of cunnilingus with you. It's especially for advanced learners. Beginner? Start with cunnilingus 101 as noted below.

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We always want to help encourage better cunnilingus. We started off with a cunnilingus 101 for the beginners, but now for a more advanced guide. While it focused on clitoral orgasms, it's time to add G-spot orgasms today! It's just as, if not more, important. The G-spot. Through extensive trials, Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg found that stimulating the clitoris was not the only way to reach female orgasm. Named after Dr. Gräfenberg the G-spot is known to be the key to multiple orgasms!

Without ado, below are 10 more ways to finding this wondrous, and elusive spot and aid in the cunnilingus experience.

#1 Elongate foreplay

Don't rush into it. It's much harder to find the g-spot before being excited. This is a perfect excuse for foreplay. The G-spot is made up of erectile tissue, so it enlarges up to 150% when stimulated. Making it much easier to locate and more sensitive to touch. An empty bladder is very necessary when searching for the elusive G-spot.

#2 Make her comfortable

As I mentioned you can't go straight for the G-spot. You have to build up the foreplay. Excite her; kiss her, things will be a lot easier if she's already comfortable and feeling beautiful and confident. This is the ideal moment to tell her how beautiful she is. Caress and kiss her entire body.

#3 Find the G-spot

Even if she has been stimulated and warmed up, the G-spot may still be hard to find. It's easiest to find with your fingers. Insert two fingers.

You want to go as deep as your second set of knuckles. A come hither gesture will get you in the general area. The G-spot does feel different than the surrounding tissue. It has a more rough texture, like the roof of your mouth right behind the front teeth.

#4 Technique 

Pressure is the best feeling, but like many things, this isn't true for everyone. Experiment. Slow, deep strokes and lighter, faster ones. Always make sure to spread your fingers a bit. In the middle is the urethra and pressure there won't feel nice. When you find a nice rhythm, keep it up.

#5 Don't forget the clitoris

G-spot stimulation doesn't work well on its own. Pairing it with clit stimulation is perfect. If you're using your fingers, you're already in a great spot to go face first. Clit and g-spot stimulation go hand-in-hand. When performing cunnilingus, inserting fingers takes it to the next level. If you know where the G-spot is, that can put it over the top. Clit stimulation is a great opener and will encourage lubrication, kick-starting her excitement.

#6 Toys

I've always been an advocate for using toys. And why not? It's #ToyWithMeTuesday! For example, check out the Nirvana from Early to Bed to the left. It's a vibrator and dildo. They can definitely improve your cunnilingus experience They especially helpful with finding the G-spot. Many toys are designed to do just that. It will make a nice addition while you are stimulating her clit with your tongue. It's much easier to hold a toy in one place while focusing elsewhere. A vibrating toy is also great for her clit. You'll definitely get her to climax, and maybe even ejaculate.

#7 Squirting

With proper buildup, multiple orgasms can be achieved. And even better than that, female ejaculation, or squirting is possible. Female ejaculation does come from the urethra but it's not urine. It will be clear and odorless. It also tastes sweeter than her natural lubrication.

#8 Come prepared

Female ejaculation can feel like the need to pee. The feeling can lead to some insecurity. And that will prevent a good orgasm. Don't worry. And tell her not to worry. If she had already used the bathroom, there won't be any embarrassing issues. This will help her relax and her muscles won't tense up. You want her to be comfortable enough to go with the feeling and flex her muscles. Have a towel nearby. You'll probably need it.

#9 Communicate

This cannot be stressed enough! When you've found the place, rhythm, or motion that she loves, do not stop. I've been guilty of this myself. Changing even a little bit can interrupt her climax. So no matter how hard it is, or how much that cramp hurts, keep going. You will both be grateful you didn't stop.

#10 Make note

Remembering where her G-spot is will not only help in the future with cunnilingus, but can improve sex in general. The G-spot can be reached with fingers, toys, penises, and even some long and talented tongues. Positions from behind, and the Cowgirl can lead to G-spot stimulation. With the Cowgirl position, she has more control and can better position things. During other forms of intercourse, remember to aim lower, and be prepared for a wild ride.

Speaking of the G-Spot, have you 'Liked' GetLusty on Facebook yet? We're giving away a Tiani 2 to a lucky 'Liker' by December 1st. We're also on Pinterest and Tumblr, as well as Twitter @getlusty. What?! You're on those platforms and aren't in tune with our awesome content? Have amazing sex. Get lusty. 




This is a guest post by GetLusty staff writer, Milan Weasley. She's pretty amazing. We're so excited to have Milan as one of our first lesbian writers. (Ah! Dykes and dildos!) She spends her days procrastinating grad school and her nights procrastinating everything else. She enjoys writing, gogo dancing, sewing, pole dancing, and defending the Oxford comma.

Questions, comments or article ideas? Get in touch with Milan at milan@getlusty.com or on her Tumblr.

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