Ladies! Let’s talk about multiple orgasms. You’ve probably heard other women talk about them in reverent, clandestine tones, as if having multiple orgasms is equivalent to being a part of the Illuminati. Oh curious reader, allow me to indoctrinate you. There’s no rite of initiation, there’s no secret handshake, and vaginas only kind of secretly rule the world. The truth of the matter is that they’re my bread and butter, and my life would be radically different without the ability to have them. They make me feel good, and inducing them makes my partner feel good. There is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t have more than one orgasm if you want, and if you keep reading, you’re going to know multiple orgasms, A to Z. GetLusty's SugarCunt sheds some light on the mysterious Multiple Orgasm.
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Multiple orgasms are not what you think
Multiple orgasms do not follow a single model. Don’t think that for multiple orgasms to “count”, they have to occur within seconds of one another. For some people, multiple orgasms occur when they experience a strong climax, and then enjoy successive aftershocks as their autonomic reflexes “bounce off” the first orgasm. For others, multiple orgasms occur with short breaks in between; Betty Dodson, of dodsonandross.com, compares this model to sneezing multiple times – there’s a little buildup between each one.
In Express Milaukee, Laura Anne Stuart, MPH clearly defines multiple orgasms as successive orgasms that take place without reaching the “resolution” phase of the human sexual response model. In Masters and Johnson’s model of human sexual response, the four phases are excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. If you have multiple orgasms, your orgasm doesn’t resolve. Instead, you return to the plateau stage and get to catapult blissfully back into orgasm.
According to Dr. Laura Berman, men have a refractory period – a time in which they may be unable to get another erection or have another orgasm, but women do not. Women might need a break between orgasms because of clit sensitivity, but that’s different from a refractory period. A woman’s body is still capable of having more orgasms.
Why aren’t more people having multiple Os?
The common belief is that almost all women are capable of having multiple orgasms. According to Dr. Rachel Abrams there are few conditions that may prevent it, such as pelvic surgery or injury, and severe chronic illness. Short of those negating factors, why aren’t more women having more orgasms?
Some of you may not have heard about multiple orgasms until you read this article. Some women may have read about it in Redbook or Cosmo, but didn't think that their partners would be accommodating. Some women feel like having more than one orgasm is greedy. Many women probably think that they just aren’t capable of it. Whatever the hang-up is, you can overcome it.
Want to start having multiple orgasms?
First things first: Know what you like. If you’re barely getting to one orgasm, maybe the technique being used isn’t what you need to get off. Try something new! Masturbation is one of the best ways to figure out what really gets you off, and it’s also the best place to start trying to have more than one orgasm. Masturbation ensures that your first attempts will take place in a low-pressure environment, and if you simply can’t make it to two or beyond, you can always try again later without feeling like you’ve disappointed anyone. Once you figure out what gets you past the first orgasm, you can share the knowledge with your partner to remove some of the guesswork.
Get in the mood and do things that encourage an intense orgasm. Not sure how to take your orgasms to the next level? 5 ways to orgasm more intensely has you covered. Some other words of advice: Make sure that you’ve been thoroughly aroused before you attempt to attain your first orgasm. If need be, tease yourself a little by approaching orgasm, then backing off several times, which will increase the sexual tension in your body. If you have an earth-shaking first orgasm, you may have a chance to reap the benefits of those bouncing autonomic reflexes.
Contract your pubococcygeus muscle (PC muscle). Rhythmic contractions can herald and enhance an orgasm, and a strong pelvic floor can assist you in your attempt to have multiple orgasms. Kegel exercises will help strengthen your pelvic floor and make controlling these contractions much easier, so give them a try.
If your clit tends to become oversensitive, back off of it and try stimulating some other part of your body while keeping yourself in the moment by flexing your PC muscle, rocking your hips, and breathing. You may only have to leave your clit alone for a few seconds before you’re back in the game.
Don’t obsess over it
Yes, you should keep in mind that you aren’t going to quit once you’ve had your first orgasm, but don’t be single-minded about having more than one; you’ll make yourself anxious and it will detract from your arousal. Don’t think that the sexual episode is failed if you don’t have multiples. There’s nothing wrong with having – or preferring – one orgasm. Every orgasm is an enjoyable achievement, so don’t take the one that you had for granted. You aren’t being graded, so have fun!
Sugarcunt is incorrigible. She was born with a vagina, identifies as gender-queer pansexual feminist, and embraces female pronouns. When she isn't playing video games, blogging, or reading, she spends her spare time trying to pioneer the art of dildo knitting. Lover of snark, cats, cephalopods, and baked goods, she lives with her boyfriend, three pets, and an army of sex toys in the mountains of North Carolina. She blogs about sex toys, sex-positivity, body-positivity, queer culture, gender, and kink at Sugarcunt Writes, and you can find her on twitter as @Sugarcunt.