Another Reason to Have Great Sex: It Makes You Live Longer

We all know that a great sex life is important and good for our health, but did you know it could help you live longer? Here at GetLusty, we're all about finding solutions to life's biggest challenge: having an amazing sexual relationship. GetLusty staff writer, Eileen Prouffe, offers 3 lusty ways to extend your life-span.

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Maybe your sex is lackluster. Maybe you need a little inspiration for better sex. What better inspiration than having a longer and more fulfilling life? Whether you could barely feel anything or they thought you were a mechanical bull, bad sex sucks and it's very unfulfilling. Having great orgasms can actually help lengthen your life. By having bad sex you are not letting this process occur in your body and mind. 

Here's three reasons why sex can lengthen your life:

#1 Orgasms can reduce cancer risk   

According to a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association,  men who ejaculate more frequently in their 20s are less likely to get prostate cancer when they're older. So make sure you are getting the sexual pleasure that you need in your relationships. 

#2 Reduces stress and anxiety

Not surprisingly, according to Princeton University research, sexual experiences reduce stress and anxiety. Stress can be a bummer for any relationship, so talk to your partner about new ways of having better sex and stop those inhibitions from getting in the way of your longevity.

#3 Increases endorphins

It has been suggested in the scientific community that a regular release of endorphins might increase longevity. Having regular sex that gets your heart pumping and that makes you feel good can release these endorphins.  If you read through the studies, you'll see that it isn't just the act of sex that benefits your physiology. The point is to get all those chemicals flowing. If your partner is skimping out on you and your body, then it's time to have a talk. If they don't know how to improve, offer to help. 

Remember, your partner doesn't know what you are experiencing sexually if you don't tell him or her. I'm not saying that sex is everything in a relationship, but it is a huge part of it. Just like money is not everything either, but let's face it, we all need it. There are many aspects to a relationship, and sexual harmony is one of the most important for a lasting relationship. Check out our collection of articles on improving sex with your partner.

Many studies show that people who have relationships live longer than people who are single, so keep that love flowing and make sure you take the time and effort to nurture your partner. Some people are too embarrassed to speak up and tell their partner that they are unsatisfied and they just deal with it. This is no way to go through life. You deserve to be touched and pleased the way that you want to be, so do yourself a favor and speak up. Also, it doesn't hurt to ask your partner the truth about whether or not you are really satisfying them. 

No matter what the case or the excuse, don't let yourself get stuck in a bad sex rut. If it happens, start communicating and exploring. With these health benefits, orgasms are a healthy and natural process that not only we want to happen, but that need to happen.

No one wants to shorten their lives, so if there are ways that you can help prolong your life then do it! That's right don't just sit there. Stop reading and go have some lusty sex.

Eileen Prouffe is a GetLusty staff writer with over ten years as a working mom trying to keep her love alive. If she's not having fun with her three kids, she's staring into the eyes of her loving husband. She looks forward to sharing her ideas, tips and knowledge with everyone to help improve relationships and put an end to dull sex lives. Get in touch with Eileen at eileen@getlusty.com.

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Ladies! Is Sex Painful? Find Out Why

Sometimes, we women feel like we should have sex. Maybe it's been a while or maybe you have a sex break scheduled. You don't want to disappoint your love. Now somewhere in or around your vaginal opening or walls hurts, maybe you nicked your inner lips while shaving, waxing, or prepping. We've all been there, but how do you describe this to a lover? How important is to have sex that's pleasurable for the both of you? What do you when sex is painful? Dr. Jenn, a leading sex educator and therapist from sunny, warm San Diego reports.

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Dear Dr. Jenn,

Is it normal to have pain when I have sex with my boyfriend? It’s not all the time, but about half the time I have to stop him once he’s inside because it hurts too much. What should we do?

Thank you!
Sex is a Pain

Dear Sex is a Pain,

I’m so sorry to hear you’re experiencing pain! But very happy that you brought it up, since you are not alone. A 2010 Indiana University study found that one third of women reported genital pain during their last sexual encounter. First, a few clarifying questions: Where is the pain located? Is it inside or outside your vagina? What does the pain feel like, for example, is it burning or sore? Has this happened with past partners? Can you pinpoint any differences between the times you have pain and the times you do not?

If the pain is deep inside and only occasional, it might be connected to changes in your menstrual cycle, which can shift your cervix and uterus. I suggest that you alter sexual positions when there’s pain, to find one that doesn’t allow for deep penetration.

On the other hand, if the pain is right around the entrance to your vagina, there are likely other factors coming into play, such as lubrication and time. Since the pain is not always present, I’m guessing that the difference could be that you haven’t had enough time to get all juicy and lubricated.

All bodies are different, and some people need more foreplay prior to intercourse to allow their genitals to engorge with blood and for the body to kick in with natural vaginal lubrication. More finger and tongue action around the vulva and vaginal opening should better prepare you for penetration.

Also, adding a personal lubricant can help reduce unwanted friction (I recommend brands like Sliquid, Hathor Aphrodisia, or Pink). If you believe you have a physical problem that is not addressed here or is more serious (e.g., vulvodynia), we are lucky in San Diego to have the Sexual Medicine Clinic at Alvarado Hospital. Visit them to determine the source of your pain.


It’s very important that you openly discuss this with your boyfriend. You want to make sure both of you are doing what you can to stop the pain. Sometimes women grin and bear it, but in the long run this creates a negative feedback loop around sex. Sex should be fun and pleasurable for both partners and I hope this helps you achieve that. I wish you happy and healthy sex!

Passionately,
Dr. Jenn

This article was cross posted with permission from Dr. Jenn's Blog. *This article was originally posted to the Sex & Love Blog Series at Pacific San Diego Magazine.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, PhD, is a sociologist, sexuality speaker, and sex therapist, with a passion for challenging people to sexually think outside the box.

Dr. Jenn is a public speaker on topics including healthy relationships, love, gender, mindfulness, erotic play, and happiness. She counsels individuals and couples, in person and over Skype, to assist in creating and maintaining open communication and fulfilling intimacy. Dr. Jenn is a contributing writer for Pacific San Diego Magazine and is a sex and relationship expert on Fox 5 news and San Diego Living. Follow her on Twitter @DrJennsDen and Facebook.

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Consent 101: What Is It, Anyway?

This seems silly. Why are we talking about consent with couples who are already engaged in sex. It must always be consensual, right? Well, not so much. Sometimes we ladies (or gents) feel obliged to have sex. We don't overtly consent during the start, middle and end. Cross boundaries and we feel really bad. It can start a relationship problem. Don't fall into that trap! Consent. Be clear. We'll tell you how.

Consent is super hot. You're both getting exactly what you want and need. Can you get any sexier than perfection? That's why we're starting a three part series on consent. What is it, anyway? What isn't it? And, how do I communicate to have an amazing sexual relationship?

With the general ambiguity of most pop culture portrayals of sex, we feel obligated to clarify what is and is not acceptable for sexual consent. In this first installment, we define consent. Rachel Colias is here to talk about the subject that's near and dear to our hearts. Consensual, amazing sex. 

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Definition

Consent is something a person does or says to communicate their desire to participate in a sexual activity; consent is a verb and it is enthusiastic. This active consent includes vocalizing an initial agreement with a partner or partners.  Don’t be confused, though. That initial “yes,” is something that can be taken back and does not include agreeing to everything their partner wishes to do.

More specifically, now

For instance, a person can consent to having their nipples sucked. However, that does not mean they consent to having their underwear removed; a person can consent to oral sex, but that does no mean they consent to intercourse. There is no such thing as an all-encompassing “yes,” nor is there an obligation for the consenting parties to do anything they do not wish to do. As the wonderfully hilarious band Flight of the Conchords sings, “a kiss is not a contract”; participating in one sexual act does not obligate a person to take the interaction any further.


Do it. Over and over. Just like sex!

Giving consent once does not also obligate a person to consent to the same thing on a different occasion either. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have sex a certain way or with a particular person only once; consent is not something that carries over and it can’t be used against someone if they don’t want to repeat an act or have sex with the same person on a separate occasion. No one “owes” you anything and you never “owe” another person something. Sex should be your and your partner’s choice. 

Along with being enthusiastic, consent is also sober. Taking advantage of someone who is drunk or under the influence of drugs is not consensual nor is it acceptable or legal. Consent needs to be something received and given before anything sexual can happen and it can’t be assumed.

Respect. Love. Enjoy!

Consent is something you respect. It’s a necessary aspect of all sexual interactions and no one should ever be made to feel bad about not wanting to participate in particular sexual acts. Consent is something you should always obtain and communicate. 

This article is by our awesome new columnist Rachel Colias. She’s currently getting her bachelors in English and Women’s and Gender studies and feels especially passionate about advocating for the importance of consent and communication. 

Her hobbies include shopping for new vibrators, playing roller derby, and getting tattoos her mom doesn’t approve of. When she’s not writing for GetLusty for Couples or doing homework, she’s playing with her bearded dragon Terrance and you can generally find her reading comic books with her loving boyfriend of six years or eating pizza and watching Netflix. You can find and follower her Tumblr blog here! Also e-mail her directly at editorial@getlusty.com.

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Try This! Stand & Deliver

Sex in marriage can get boring. Missionary, missionary, oh, missionary again? We know you enjoy the sex positions. Therefore, we're going to be bringing back variations on sex positions.

Benefits for the giver

• Work to ensure your lovely partner is supported in this position, enjoy that position!
• From this position, you can see all the gorgeousness of your lovely partner's vulva and vagina. Go ahead, dish out the compliments. I guarantee it'll be a turn-on!
• While you're holding your partner's legs, feel free to bend back slightly for greater control
• Want to feel extra comfortable? Get a pillow for your knees (don't forget your partner, who'd probably appreciate a pillow, too)
• Change the variation of your thrusts; go harder and faster, then slow it down and thrust a little deeper (if you're over-sized, you want to check in frequently)

Benefits for the receiver

• See your lover from the world up; I think the blood rushing to your head will make things extra special (laugh)
• While you won't be able to last too long in this position, it'll be a lovely way to alternate between those traditional (maybe slightly boring you-on-bottom positions)
• For comfort, you could either grab your partner's legs like in the picture or arch your back and reach your arms behind your head for more leverage (though that'd change the position slightly) 
• Enjoying the moment and have hands free? Lick your fingers and rub your clit or nipples
• Want things to go a little harder (or softer)? Slap and grab your lover's lovely ass and note how much you're enjoying it and how you'd like it harder or softer

Adam Ant fans will be especially pleased with this position:

Thanks to Cosmopolitan for this picture and position recommendation.

This is post by Erica Grigg, our Founder and Chief Lust Officer. She's a writer, marketer, social entrepreneur and sex geek. She wants to end boring sex. If you don't see Erica riding around downtown Chicago in her beach cruiser or at a diner with her adoring husband, you see her chatting up the tech community about the importance of sex and love in marriage. Follow Erica on Twitter @ericagrigg or subscribe via Facebook and Google+. Want to connect about business partnership with a woman-run business that cares? E-mail me directly at erica@getlusty.com.

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Ladies! 3 Types of Orgasms (NSFW)

Orgasm October is over but that doesn't mean we're done thinking about orgasms. In our first part to our 11 kinds of orgasm series, we discussed three types of orgasms that women can experience. So far we have learned about the clitoral, vaginal and the very interesting and totally attainable, mental (hands-free) orgasm. Now, lets take a look at three more orgasms: a-spot, u-spot and breast orgasm! Our Lora Swarts reports.

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A-Spot or Deep Spot (AFE) Orgasm

The a-spot orgasm, also known as, anterior fornix erogenous (AFE) zone or the second G-spot is a very intense erogenous zone. If stimulated, it can lead to rapid lubrication and arousal. The a-spot can give you a very powerful and intense orgasm. The AFE zone is a patch of sensitive tissue at the inner, front end of the vaginal tube, between the cervix and bladder.

The great thing about an A-spot orgasm is that is doesn't get sensitive after an orgasm like the clitoral orgasm. So your partner can bring you to pleasure numerous times without an intermission! The concept of the A-spot is attributed to sex scientist, Dr. Chua Chee Ann of Malaysia. To reach the A-spot, use similar techniques to those of G-spot stimulation, however go as deep as your fingers can reach. Then "scoop" it out with your middle finger, applying some pressure to the area. You can reach the AFE zone with fingers, sex toys, or with your penis through the missionary position. The A-spot orgasm is said to be like the G-spot but even more intense. For a video tutorial on how to reach the A-spot or deep spot visit David Shade's website here.


U-spot Orgasm


The U-spot is the opening to the urethra located just above the vaginal opening, just above the lips. The U-spot is easily stimulated with a fingertip, tongue or tip of a penis or toy. When caressed, a woman can feel a very intense orgasm and an erotic response. Treat the U-spot very similarly to the clitoris and be gentle. The u-spot feels best when it is wet and touched gently.

This spot doesn't need a lot of pressure on it and many women have found their u-spot simply from their partner's rubbing the tip of their penis up and down their labia. Want to really get off? Try stimulating both the u-spot and the clitoris just above it simultaneously! You may find that you like some wet stroking all the way from the clitoris, down over the u-spot and then into the opening of your vagina!

Oral sex is another fantastic way to stimulate the u-spot! The tongue wets the spot as opposed to potential friction caused my fingers. To find the u-spot, find the opening of the vagina with your tongue. Softly and slowly, lick upwards towards the clitoris like an ice cream cone. Going slowly lets her revel in your amazing oral talents and also gives you the heads up on where she is most sensitive. When you find the area, experiment with maybe faster or slower speeds and pressure.

Just remember to communicate with your partner on what feels best, because just like some women are super clitoris sensitive, you may not be as sensitive on your u-spot. Just let your partner know what you are feeling. A simple moan gives him the hint that he is on the right track!

Breast Orgasm

Orgasms from breast and nipple stimulation? You read that right! This occurs during a peak of stimulation to the breasts. Nipple stimulation activates the same region of the brain as clitoral, vaginal and cervical stimulation," according to a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, last year.

Depending on how sensitive your nipples are you can experience orgasms from breasts. To have your partner give you a breast orgasm, tell him or her to use manual stimulation in soft, full circles giving your breast a massage. But, oral stimulation is even better! Have them suck on your nipples, nibble and lick your breast, and use tongue strokes all over to give you the ultimate combination of stimulation!

Lora is a GetLusty Staff Writer and resident health nut. When she is not writing, you can find her on her yoga mat, exploring Chicago via bicycle, or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend and their beagle puppy in their north side apartment. She has a habit for spending too much money on soy lattes and yoga clothes. Find her on Twitter @HoneyNutLo or writing over at her blog, Honey Nut Lo.

Have any questions? Email her at lora@getlusty.com.

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