At GetLusty, we're serious about consensual sex. We think that both a woman and man should have the knowledge and right to make their own consensual sexual decisions. That's why it was a blessing and a curse when Todd Akin (R-Mo) talked with such ignorance earlier this week about rape. Akin negatively influenced his party to say the least. The beauty? America is responding.
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The country has erupted. I've seen articles from ladies who I never heard of, alongside power houses like Eve Ensler, speak out against this common social practice.
Rape happens
1 of 6 American women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. Eve herself is using this as a platform (which I completely support), V-Day 2013. Many of these assaults happen before ladies are 30, by the way, and are by men they know.
Why I love Eve
I love her because I found out about her just after I was raped as a junior at university. A good friend and I shouted out together her Vagina Monologue lines (she re-claimed the cunt).
My best friend held my hand as I walked proudly 4 days after I was raped. A small but ferocious group of ladies marched against the assaults that happened on or near campus. Almost all the responses were positive. After marching around our campus, I told my entire rape story to a listening audience. It was my first therapy session. All in the name of talking about sex, gender, and sexuality -- painful and happy.
How sex education helped me remain confident
When I learned I was not broken, guilty or shameful, I grew stronger. Luckily, my rape was a 24-hour ordeal. Police could call my trauma a, "rape." Many women are not so lucky. They don't know their consent was violated. They don't know they have the option to say, "no."
When we (both genders) learn about how to communicate consent and respect the decision of their partner, we'll be a lot closer to not experiencing rape. -- If it was only this easy.
The problem? Many women and men automatically refrain from talking about sex. They, "have enough" sex and, "they're lucky because their wife puts out." Across the U.S. we're taught that abstinence is the answer to our sexual questions. Rather than talking about our sexual problems, we sweep them under the rug.
As a country we're absolutely clueless about sex. Prove it, you ask?
Check out some stats from the U.S. versus European teens from Advocates for Youth.
Pregnancy
The United States’ teen pregnancy rate is almost three times that of Germany and France, and over four times that of the Netherlands.(Figs. 1 and 2)
The United States’ teen pregnancy rate is almost three times that of Germany and France, and over four times that of the Netherlands.(Figs. 1 and 2)
Birth
The United States’ teen birth rate is nearly eight times higher than that of the Netherlands’, over five times higher than France’s, and over four times higher than Germany’s. (Fig. 3) [1,3,4]
Abortion
In the United States, the teen abortion rate is twice that of Germany and more than 1.5 times that of the Netherlands. (Fig. 4) [1,2,3,17]
HIV
The percentage of the United States’ adult population that has been diagnosed with HIV or AIDS is six times greater than in Germany, three times greater than in the Netherlands, and one-and-a-half times greater than in France.(Fig. 5)[5]
SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES
Limited data is available for STI rates in Europe. However, data from the Netherlands found that rates of reported incidence are considerably higher in the United States.[6,7] Further, comparisons of prevalence (the proportion of a given population which is infected) find that the Chlamydia prevalence among young adults in the United States is twice that among young adults in the Netherlands.[8,9] *
CONTRACEPTIVE USE AT MOST RECENT SEXUAL INTERCOURSE
U.S. teens report using contraception (usually either birth control pills or condoms or both) far more often that their peers of previous decades. However, condom and contraceptive use leveled off between 2003 and 2007. U.S. teens still use contraception or condoms much less consistently than their peers in Europe. When measuring use of highly effective hormonal contraception, condoms, or both, researchers found that German, French, and Dutch youth were significantly more likely to be well protected at most recent sex than were their U.S. peers. The greatest disparities were in contraceptive pill use among females. French young women were more than twice as likely to have been using contraceptive pills at last intercourse as young women in the United States, German youth five times as likely, and Dutch youth almost six times as likely. (Figs. 6,7,8) [10,11,12,13]
These numbers aren't just for teens. They relate later in life when we're, "all grown up," and in relationships. Because Americans aren't able to talk about sex, we're more likely to have sex without consent. Why? Many don't know what consent even is.
Sex education = better sex decisions
My mission for founding GetLusty was to chip away at the notion that women are passive observers of their own sexuality. My mission: educate couples coming out of this broken sexual education system. GetLusty is an outlet for couples in long-term relationships to have the best sex of their lives -- without judgement.
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This is post by Erica Grigg, our Founder and Chief Lust Officer. She's a writer, marketer, social entrepreneur and sex geek. She wants to change the world.If you don't see Erica riding around downtown, Chicago in her beach cruiser, you see her chatting up the tech community about the importance of sex and love in marriage. Follow Erica on Twitter @ericagrigg or subscribe via Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.
Want to connect about writing, or business partnership with a woman-run business that cares? E-mail me directly at erica@getlusty.com.
