Cunnilingus 101: Ten Tips to Make Her Orgasm (NSFW)

Cunnilingus: it's the breakfast of champions. It changes your sexual experiences from dull to fun in under 30 minutes. And if you're doing it right, it'll lead to the deepest, loveliest orgasms. Without ado, Rachel Colias reports on how to make your magical cunnilingus sessions even more mind-blowingly good! Have you seen our cunnilingus 201 article yet to add g-spot stimulation to cunnilingus?

Disclaimer: This isn't just about orgasms. Orgasms aren't the be-all and end-all of fabulous sexual experiences. Some people find it difficult to have orgasms, and there are those who can't at all. You might be dealing with other emotional barriers. (Try mental orgasms, though.) Our recommendation for those couples is to not blame themselves. Not orgasming is totally fine, too. If you have a rough patch, do consider visiting a therapist (our top therapist recommendations). However, if you're in a good emotional state and your partner usually orgasms, these tips will definitely work. 

* * *

You’ve seen our tips on what not to do during a blowjob and even more things not to do mid-blowjob. But how do you please those lovely female-bodied people? We here at GetLusty for Couples are huge fans of vagina's, vulvas, labias, the clitoris and beyond. Whether you’ve been kissing coochies for years or are excitedly awaiting your first opportunity, here are a few helpful tips on what quite a lot of vaginas love!

Get accustomed to the anatomy

First off, you should be familiar with the vagina. You need the floorplans, so to speak. I mean, how do you know how to work anything without the manual? So let’s review. The most basic thing to remember is that people grow hair down there; some choose to remove it, some don’t. Either way, do not go into the act expecting one thing, and then acting disappointed when you get another. Any sort of negative feelings or attitudes doesn’t exactly put someone in the mood. Plus, it’s just downright rude. Work with what you have!

What you can see externally of the vagina is called the vulva. It consists of the labia majora, labia minora, the clitoral hood, the clitoris (soon-to-be star of the article), the urethra, vaginal opening, perineum, and the anus. The picture to the right should help with any confusion concerning where these different parts are located. 

Now that we understand where everything is, let’s get down to business! A helpful hint before we start, though: the clitoris is a bundle of amazingly sensitive glans and contains around 8,000 sensory nerve fibers. Need a little perspective? That’s nearly twice as many as the tip of a penis contains. You’re going to want to pay attention to this. 

After a bit of research, and even more personal experience, I’ve compiled a list of tips on how to show a vagina a great time. Remember, not every tip listed is universal. Always ask your partner if they’d like something before doing it and stop when asked. Without ado, our top 10 tips:

#1 Learn about their sensitivity

Be aware of sensitivity. Every clitoris is different (size, shape, color, etc), which means not every person is going to enjoy the same amount of pressure placed on their clitoris by your tongue. So my first tip would be to listen to your partner so you can better understand how to pleasure them. Too much pressure on a sensitive clitoris hurts!

#2 Be patient

It may take a few minutes, or more, to figure out exactly where and how a person is going to like having your tongue. But don’t give up! Nothing kills a mood better than a quitter.

#3 Use your hands

Don’t be afraid to use the hands. Just because you’re working some tongue magic doesn’t mean your fingers can’t help out. While it is more common for a person to orgasm from clitoral stimulation, coupling the waves of pleasure with some penetration or external massaging can really feel great!

#4 How's things going up there?

Pay attention to their body signals. If they start breathing faster or gripping something harder, you’re probably doing something right. If they’re screaming “Don’t stop!” you’re definitely doing something right. Now that you have found that perfect spot, don’t change a thing! A moan does not mean “Quick! Do something different and crazy with your tongue!” It means “Stay. Right. There.”

#5 Gently suck and nibble

Gentle sucking or nibbling of the clitoris or labia can feel great! Start as gently as possible at first, gradually increasing the strength. Starting off too hard when your partner hasn't been revved up can be a little surprising.

#6 Remember the vulva

Foreplay the vulva. This is all about foreplay, so don't rush. Not everyone likes an immediate focus on the clitoris. To get the juices really flowing, try focusing your tongue and mouth on the thighs, labia, vaginal opening. You can even gently massage their vulva while kissing around the entire area (or their entire body).

#7 Intensify the orgasm

If you get really good at reading a person’s body signals, try stopping right before the person is about to come and then starting back up again when the orgasm recedes. Building it up over and over again makes for a much more intense orgasm, and who doesn’t like a tease?

#8 Tell her she's sexy

Making sure the person knows you just love how they taste or smell is always super sexy and a great confidence boost! That kind of confidence can also really relax a person and allow them to get into it without thinking about anything other than the pleasure.

#9 Let her guide you
 
Let the person you’re pleasuring guide you. Ask them, "Should I go faster or slower? Am I in the right place?" Tell them you'd love some guidance on how to best bring them pleasure. They've had the vagina longer than you’ve had your face down there, so trust them to know what's pleasurable.

#10 Continue to lick after she's cum

If their clitoris isn’t too sensitive, keep licking after they’ve come. You never know how many orgasms they can have until you try! They might still be squirming, so ensure you're not going too hard. Even after a few seconds, it still feels amazing and may prolong the intensity of the orgasm.

Bonus: 

Try different positions! Your partner could sit on your face, lick them while they're standing, or 69 (or 69 more pleasurably). Try cunnilingus from various positions and ask throughout what they enjoyed about those positions. If in doubt, always ask! Communication is sexy and highly erotic (your brain is your biggest sex organ). They may not orgasm from these positions, but it will sure be fun!

Is there something you or your partner especially likes that you just need to tell everyone? Spill your cunnilingus secrets in the comment section below! 

This article was written by Rachel Colias. She’s currently getting her bachelors in English and Women’s and Gender studies and feels especially passionate about advocating for the importance of consent and communication. 

Her hobbies include shopping for new vibrators playing roller derby, and getting tattoos her mom doesn’t approve of. When she’s not writing for GetLusty or doing homework, she’s playing with her bearded dragon Terrance and you can generally find her reading comic books with her loving boyfriend of six years or eating pizza and watching Netflix. You can find and follow her Tumblr blog here! Also e-mail her at editorial@getlusty.com.

Read more »

Women! How to Encourage Better Cunnilingus

This was one of the most popular articles from Orgasm October so we decided to edit and update it for your reading pleasure!

One of the main questions floating around the GetLusty office is why there are relatively few cunnilingus classes in Chicago. One hypothesis we've heard from event organizers as to why they have such a hard time filling seats for cunnilingus classes is that we women don't tell our husbands or lovers they could use some...ahem...lessons.

So, of course, we've got to address this issue. We think both sexes should constantly improve on their techniques. For women, sometimes we're afraid to ask for what we want. Don't be! Here are some ways you can communicate to him exactly what your vagina wants and needs. GetLusty's Lora Swarts reports.

* * *

1. Think before you speak

Before you start talking and potentially getting off track, think about how to approach this subject. Consider your partner's feelings and write a list of everything you want to discuss. You want to avoid any negativity and hurt feelings. 

2. Be positive

Rather than tell your guy all the things he is doing wrong and potentially causing a fight, explain to him the things he does that make you feel the best. He will get the hint without you making him feel like an inadequate lover. If something is not working for you, then let him know in a way that puts a positive spin on it. For example, if you like it slow in the beginning, tell him to slow it down because you love the way he makes you feel. That lets him know you enjoy the sensations without being negative to him.

3. Give clear directions

This is an important way to let your guy know exactly what you want while he is going down on you. Again, be positive to avoid any hurt feelings. If you enjoy his fingers penetrating you while his tongue is caressing your clitoris, let him know! Men want to please us, and would appreciate clear directions and feedback.  

4. Use positive reinforcement

Tell your partner what a wonderful job they're doing. Positive reinforcement through a moan, groan, or statement, will let your guy know he is doing an awesome job. When he knows you love something he is doing, he will likely keep doing it! 

5. Make it an activity! 

If your guy is an active learner, then he will get the most out of physically going down on you. He will be able to truly explore and put all your words into action. Why not suggest you both work on your oral sex techniques and take turns pleasing each other? This way you can openly tell your guy what feels best in the moment. He can begin to explore without feeling nervous or intimidated because the ultimate goal is getting you off.

Remember, while he is going down on you, stay positive, be clear and employ reinforcement.

Lora is the GetLusty Editorial Intern and resident health nut. When she is not writing, you can find her on her yoga mat, spending too much money on soy lattes or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend in their north side apartment. You can find her on Twitter @honeynutlo.

Have any questions about our editorial content? Contact her at Lora@GetLusty.com.

Read more »

Can I Orgasm?

This is another guest post from Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS also known as Dr. Dick. GetLusty loves Dr. Dick! He has been a practitioner of Sex Therapy and Relationship Counseling for over 30 years. Today, he is here to answer a reader's question about if a woman can orgasm after having sex twice.

* * *

Name: Rachel
Gender: Female
Age: 19

Dear Dr. Dick (via GetLusty),

Is it possible for a girl not to be able to have an orgasm after having sex twice?

Thanks,
Rachel

Dear Rachel,

Loads of women, way too many in fact, go through most of their lives being pre-orgasmic. Even having sex on a regular basis and having lots of babies is no guarantee that the woman in question is orgasmic. It’s a staggering statistic that us men simply can’t wrap our heads around. In fact, I believe the earth would stop rotating on its axis if an equal number of men lived most of their lives without being orgasmic.

Now it must be clear to you, even at your tender age, that there are some fundamental differences between the sexes when it comes to sexual enjoyment. But a good portion of that has always been culturally dependent. Men have always had a whole lot more cultural permission to be sexually experimental. And since our willie is just hanging around down there waiting for an invitation to play. Or more precisely it’s our wang that tells us it’s time to play. We get to know our way around our boner early in life. Women? Not so much! Ok, so historically women have been sexually oppressed and repressed. But times they are a changing! And all you women folk out there need to wake up about this.

Nowadays you don’t need nobody’s stinking permission to get real acquainted with your cooch. That’s why I am a really big advocate of the notion that each of us, both the women folk and the men folk, ought to be responsible for our own orgasms even, or more especially, in partnered sex.

If you mean by having sex, (and I hate that ambiguous term), that you’re having full-on cock in cooter fucking, and you’re not being appropriately pleasured, then I think it’s high time for you to take some responsibility for that. I mean you can chalk up just so much sexual disappointment to the sex-negative culture and a slew of offish and uninformed male lovers, darling!

If the man you are with isn’t pleasuring you to orgasm, then it’s your responsibility to take the time to instruct him on how it’s done. If you don’t insist that your partnered sex be mutual and reciprocal, i.e. pleasure for pleasure, then you’re gonna have to suffer the consequences. If loutish men are bumping’ around down there getting their jollies, but leaving you high and dry, literally and figuratively, then you are not taking care of business properly.

Of course, the other alternative is just doing it yourself. Either way, you should have the know-how to bring yourself to orgasm even if you are with an ineffectual lover.

I suppose you know where I’m going with this, huh? Well, here’s the 411 on getting rid of pre-orgasmia once and for all. It is incumbent upon you to be exceptionally well versed in the pleasure points of your own personal pussy so you can pass this information on to the guy who wants to jump your bones. Never, and I mean never, assume a dude is gonna know what to do all on his own. Even a very seasoned lover is not gonna know the particulars of your pussy. But luckily, a seasoned lover will probably ask to be introduced to your cooch as insurance that he does the job right.

Begin by knowing your body and your sexual response cycle inside out. You are intimately familiar with masturbation, right? If not, times a wasting, girl! Start by learning how to pleasure your body to orgasm. Once you get the hang of it, you will likely know the kind of stimulation you need to achieve full arousal in partnered sex, because this is precisely the information you are gonna want to pass on to your partner before the next fuck-fest begins, as well as throughout the event. If you don’t do this, then you probably deserve the sexual wasteland you will surely find.

In other words, if you’re getting it on, but not getting off; you, my dear, need to take some of the blame for that.

Originally posted at Dr. Dick's Sex Advice.

This is a guest post from Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS - aka Dr Dick, sexologist, author, educator, syndicated sex advice columnist and publisher of Dr Dick's Sex Advice and Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews. He's been a practitioner of Sex Therapy and Relationship Counseling for over 30 years.

Richard Wagner (Dr. Dick) affirms the fundamental goodness of sexuality in human life, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond. He knows the unhappiness and anxiety, which sex-negative attitudes can engender in individuals, alienating them from their own body and the bodies of others.

Find Dr. Dick on Twitter @DrDickSexAdvice.

Read more »

GetLusty Wants You to Win a Sqweel 2

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Read more »

Is She Faking an Orgasm?

Have you ever faked an orgasm just to make your lover happy? Well, it's Orgasm October, so we hope not. What if your partner has faked it? Dr. Richard Wagner AKA Dr. Dick, is here to answer a great question about determining if you're seeing a fake orgasm. What's more important, when you move past these, you might want to also consider our other articles on orgasm! Stay tuned and keep reading.

* * *

Name: Ulrich
Gender: Male
Age: 22

Dear Dr. Dick (by way of GetLusty)

How do I know my girlfriend isn’t faking it? She looks like she’s into it, but sometimes it looks like too much drama. I definitely can't tell from this point of view. How do I tell if her orgasm is real?

Signed,
Too much drama

Dear Too Much Drama,

Too much drama? I love it! I’m gonna assume that you’re talking about what appears to be her throws of pleasure — screaming, moaning and thrashing about, just like in the porno movies. I’m not sure I know why women fake it, men sure as hell don’t go out of their way put on a show if their heart and dick ain’t in it. But women often do and sometimes even us benighted men think something’s fishy so to speak.

Maybe the question you are asking, Ulrich, might stem from a concern you have about your own skill as a lover. I suppose the most obvious reason a woman fakes an orgasm is to massage the ego of the guy who is putting it in her. I suppose it’s the path of least resistance after all. It’s easier to fake it than be honest with her lover about his sexual prowess. Of course there’s always the possibility that the woman in question is pre-orgasmic — that she’s never had an orgasm so she may think that this is how it’s done. How sad is that?

You know how there’s little mystery about a dude’s pleasure — he gets it up, he gets it on and he gets it off — pretty cut and dried. And there’s often the evidence of his pleasure in the form of a pool of his own jizz. Although I hasten to add that an ejaculation is not the same thing as an orgasm, but it is rare to have an ejaculation that isn’t somewhat pleasurable.

A chick is very different, don’t you know? Her sexual organs and arousal are mostly internal. So unless she’s a squirter (a G-spot ejaculation that is) there’s only circumstantial evidence that she is being pleasured. I guess that’s why so many women make all that “drama.” It’s to compensate for not having anything as obvious as a hardon and a puddle of spooge. Of course the drama could also be a way of throwing us boys off the scent, so to speak.

However, there are things you can look for that may indicate your partner is enjoying herself. Knowing something about the female sexual response cycle will, no doubt, be very helpful here. If you don’t know your way around this phenomenon, I’d suggest that you have some remedial study to do.

Again, the male sexual response cycle is pretty obvious — he gets wood. For a woman the analogous response is she gets wet. If your lady has a wet pussy, you may be on the right track. Of course lots of women don’t lubricate all that much, so you might not want to rely on this evidence alone.

In this instance you might look for the secondary signs of arousal – these are pretty much the same in both women and men. Our pupils may dilate, our skin may flush, our nipples may erect, our breathing may increase to a pant, our heart rate will defiantly increase and our toes might curl. Not all of these will happen every time to every person, but you get the drift, right?

In terms of the big “O” men and women differ in many respects, but there are some commonalities. Both women and men can have “mini orgasms” as well as “major” screaming memes. Us men folk tend not to pay too much attention to the little tremors, because we know the big one is coming. Women, on the other hand, have less certainty that the big “O” will show up, so they tend to be more aware of the mini ones. Regardless of the gender, a good portion of an orgasm’s physiologic response is the same in all of us. Muscle contractions, specifically the PC (pubococcygeus muscle) in both women and men, and vaginal and uterine muscles in women, signal orgasm. Everything else— the writhing, the shuddering, the fluttering of the eyes and the moans of delight — is gravy.

If the chick you’re bumping has a wild orgasm every single time, I think she’s faking it. If she cums no matter what you’re doing to her, I think she’s faking it. If she sounds like a cheap porn flick, I think she’s faking it. If she’s still doing the “oh yeah baby, you’re the best…make momma scream,” long after you stopped doing whatever you were doing, I think she’s faking it. If she carrying on, yet looking over at the television or the clock, then I think she’s faking it. If there’s no afterglow after a big “O”, I’ll bet she faked it.

If you think you’re with a faker, you might just want to tell her that she doesn’t need to put on a show for you. On the contrary, you both would be better served with a little honesty. Ask her for some feedback; what’s working, what’s not. If you think the chick you’re with is gonna cum as fast as you, you don’t know your way around a pussy.

And here’s another thing you should know; most women don’t cum from having sex alone. So if you think you've got a magic wand in your pants, you are sadly mistaken. If you’re not using your hands and mouth as well as your willie; she’ll likely fake it.

And finally, if you can’t locate her clit to save your life, you can count on her faking it.

Good luck,
Dr. Dick

Originally posted at Dr. Dick's Sex Advice.

This is a guest post from Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS - aka Dr Dick, sexologist, author, educator, syndicated sex advice columnist and publisher of Dr Dick's Sex Advice and Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews. He's been a practitioner of Sex Therapy and Relationship Counseling for over 30 years.

Richard Wagner (Dr. Dick) affirms the fundamental goodness of sexuality in human life, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond. He knows the unhappiness and anxiety, which sex-negative attitudes can engender in individuals, alienating them from their own body and the bodies of others.

Find Dr. Dick on Twitter @DrDickSexAdvice.

Read more »

4 Ways To Tell Your Man You Want Head

At the GetLusty office, we have plenty of conversations about our love lives and experiences. One of the conversations we've had was about Oral sex. We were unanimous in that receiving oral was a must when it came down to doing the deed. This is the inspiration for today's how to: how to tell your lover you need/want oral sex. Our Crimson Love reports.

* * *

If you and your man have not gotten to a point where you're receiving oral sex and you know you want it, here are some ways to bring it up and talk about it.

1. Make a list 

Sit down together and make a list of things you both want to try sexually that you two have not done together yet. On that list make sure that you write down that you want him to give you oral sex. It will be your sexual "to do" list.

2. Show him 

If you are comfortable with porn and sharing it with your lover, find a clip of a woman receiving oral sex and share it with him. Tell him that that is what you want.

3. Have a body exploration day

Allow yourselves some time to explore each other's bodies and give attention to those places that haven't received much love. Make a point to tell each other what you want and express interest in him giving you oral.

4. Write a short erotic story for your lover

Write a short and sexy erotic story based on your fantasies about you and your lover getting frisky. In that story write about your partner giving you oral sex. When you send or share this delicious story with your honey make sure to tell them the story is based on fantasies you want to make come true.

Sometimes telling or asking your lover for something can be a little difficult especially when it comes to your sexual needs. Try some of our suggestions and get back to us in the morning!

With love from, GetLusty!

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love.

Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

 Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com.

Read more »