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Growing up, I am sure most of our parents told us not to have sex before marriage. It just wasn't what good boys and girls do. We were supposed to wait until we fell in love and found "the one". Sounds so romantic and sweet doesn't it? Well, let me just say that I am the child of divorced parents. My mother waited for marriage to have sex only to get divorced 36 years later because she was a lesbian. Needless to say, waiting until marriage thing became invalid very quickly.
Live together & learn about each otherIn this day and age, with 1 in 2 marriages ending in divorce, it seems like you would want to test drive the care before you buy it! Before you marry someone, living together lets people understand their partners inside and out. Of course, this may make or break relationships. But it should! This means you weren't meant to be together in the first place.
Catch onto their bad habits like drinking out of the milk jug, leaving their dirty socks around, not washing dishes for days or otherwise. You don't want to be married for 2 years and then get divorced because you couldn't stand how messy someone was. Anyway, divorce likely wasn't because of their messiness, but a whole variety of reasons. Divorce happens for reasons like money or sex problems, for example.
Sex should be positive and normal
Secondly, sex is a very big part of any normal, healthy, adult relationship. Why should we be ashamed of having this loving act with an individual who we aren't technically, "married" to?
What is sex, anyway? It's meant as a means for two people to connect to each other and enjoy each other in the most organic of ways. Some even avoid certain kinds of sex before marriage because that ensures they're still, "pure". Think oral sex or anal sex. What? That's insane.
On the flip side, if your lover is bad in bed and you're never satisfied, the relationship is bound for failure. If you test drive that car before buying, you can avoid a bad a situation and heartbreak. While we don't think, necessarily, bad sex should end in divorce, that can happen.
Sex enhances intimacyLastly, sex and other erotic activities are good for intimacy. In an earlier article, I wrote about the importance of intimacy in relationships. It's a building block for strong relationships. You're being romantic with each other, enjoying the time together, exploring each other, and testing each others limits. These are all extremely important for healthy relationships.
Have fun and remember that sex in relationships is important. It can actually help you make a more informed decision about the person you decide to spend your future with. Have kids? Talk with them about sex in a positive way. Don't worry, we'll help. We'll be offering sex positive parenting advice very soon.
With love from GetLusty!
This is a guest post by our very own Crimson.
Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!
Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson at amber@getlusty.com.
