Everyone at GetLusty hopes you all are learning as much as possible during our Fifty Shades of Grey September!
If you haven't already read our articles on Negotiation 101 and Getting Started with BDSM, please do so! We want you to be as knowledgeable about BDSM as possible, so you can have fun and be safe!
This post was written by Master Anakin from Journey to the Darkside, a blog about Anakin's and Padme's BDSM relationship (with a Star Wars twist).
Without adieu, the top 9 traits for a submissive in a BDSM relationship.
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1. Submissive
As a general trait, a submissive isn't asking to be a submissive, they just are. That's the way there are wired. If it isn't there, if that isn't how you feel at heart; if you just don't feel that way towards dominant people, it just won't work.
2. Open
A submissive has to open themselves up to the Dominant's world; they'll be asked and taught to move towards growth and learning new things. But, change can be frightening. There has to be a core willingness to accept the dominant and what they profess is good for you.
3. A sense of humor
See #12 from the dominant list. It's okay to laugh at your dominant when he slips on they KY; and at yourself when you slip. On the other hand, it isn't okay when he's given an order and you know you've been terrible. It's not likely to draw a great deal of sympathy as the dominant orders you to bend over.
4. Responsive
A submissive who claims to be responsive, but is unwilling to listen to the Dominant, and who is convinced that they are the perfect submissive (that they've done nothing wrong ever and that they have nothing to learn) will never grow.
5. Communicative
A submissive is constantly communicating her needs with or without the dominant's requests for information on how she's feeling and doing.
6. Intelligence
If the submissive knows nothing about submission (through reading and talking with others), if they can't figure out what they want, if they can't understand or fathom why they are being asked to undergo training, then no amount of explaining from the dominant will penetrate or be helpful.
7. Emotional awareness
A submissive needs to be aware of how she is feeling, for she is asking and asked to endure a great deal. A good submissive is even aware of how the dominant is feeling. They are aware of the often complimentary and conflicting emotions; loving the pain and being turned on from a good spanking.
8. Strong
As I tell my Padme, it takes more strength to be a submissive by far than to be a dominant. The submissive is asked to endure more, to grow more, to learn more, on a consistant basis, than the dominant. If the submissive is unable to gather the strength to tell a dominant that they aren't doing something right, if they can't challenge something someone says in conversation, then they won't make a good submissive. A good submissive isn't a doormat that just accepts. My submissive is a submissive to me, not the rest of the world. There will be times they need to be strong, and when that time comes they will be.
9. Desire
A submissive is wanting to give up a lot of her freedom's for the benefits of submission; they ask a lot of themselves in order to even ask for this, let alone live it on a daily basis. They've got to want it or they wont be able to stick with it and they will resist it until something gives. They've got to want it even when the dominant is lacking; if they are a true submissive, that fire to be submissive may flicker, but it will never die.
This was a guest-post from Anakin and Padme Amidala at Journey to the Dark Side. Their blog explores their life together, BDSM, erotic imagery, polyamory, and their true sexual and spanking adventures...with an awesome Star Wars theme! Anakin and Padme have been together for 15 years and married for 7 of them.
